Saturday, November 05, 2005
Before I put the yuk-yuks du jour up I'd like to explain what I meant by "generally G-rated". By no means am I a prude, in fact I can, and sometimes do, tell jokes that are simply gross even if they are funny. I'm simply trying to show some respect. If you decide to participate, please, send whatever, it will be posted verbatim. Now, onward:
A woman golfer suffers a nasty bee sting and leaves the course to go see her doctor about it. "What happened?" asked the doctor. "I got stung between the first and second hole," replied the lady golfer. The doctor replied, "You must have an awfully wide stance!"
A couple had been debating buying a new vehicle for weeks. He wanted a truck. She wanted a fast little sports car. The couple fought endlessly about the issue. Everything she liked was out of their price range. "Look," she said. "I want something that goes from zero to 200 in just a few seconds. Nothing else will do. My birthday is coming up, so surprise me!" He did just that. For her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.
Two dogs were walking down the street. One dog says to the other, "Wait here a minute, I'll be right back." He walks across the street and sniffs this fire hydrant for a minute, then walks back across the street. The other dog says, "What was that about?" The dog first dog says, "I was just checking my messages."
An army officer asks to borrow a dollar from a soldier. "Sure, buddy," says the soldier. "That's no way to address a superior!" screams the officer. "Now let's try that again. May I borrow a dollar, private?" "Sir, no, sir."
A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five-iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened. "Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was looking around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it, stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. And that's when I made my big mistake." "What did you do?" asks the doctor. "Well, I lifted the cow's tail and yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'"
Enjoy your day and come on back tomorrow, if you can, for another poem by Robert Service.
Trucker Bob blogged at 3:45 AM