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Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Morning folks. Since I basically live on my Government pensions, with a little piggy-bank for emergencies, I guess I'd better give credit to Commander Codpiece for helping me make the decision to go south for the winter. Thanks to his ineptness in handling the US economy, as with everything else he touches, my once lowly Canadian dollar is, for all intents and purposes, at par with the once mighty US dollar. So, although it pains me to say it, thank you Dubya.

At the rate he's going I wonder how long it will be before this is the coin of the realm. Never say whoa in a tight spot Georgie, keep going, I need all the help I can get.

Shortly before I came off the road in '02 I was paying as high as 56% exchange, and since just about all my miles were in the US, you can see how much this means to me. So this is sort of like the old ad for Double Mint gum, I can double my pleasure, and double my fun.

Other than installing the new microwave I didn't do much yesterday, and don't have much on the agenda for today. It's funny though, it seems that I don't have anything to do, and not enough time to do it. Once I get to putzin' the day just goes. Slowly I'm starting to enjoy retirement, and it all started when I bought the Bear.

Okay guys, have yourselves a decent day, and I'll see you tomorrow.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 2:35 AM


Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Morning folks. Well, I'm back "home" safe and sound, and am happy to report that things went better than I could have expected. The only snag came when I gave Boop the promised hug of appreciation. It must have lit a fire in her loins, because she insisted on hugging me back, but after a little negotiation she settled for digging around in my pocket for loose change.

Seriously though (who, me?) I got everything done that I needed to, and more. One of the little niggly things I was concerned about was not dumping too much on Boop as to my Visa card, but after talking with the bank they've set it up so that the instant the statement is issued each month it will be paid in full from my checking account, thereby relieving Boop of having to do anything. In fact I was able to set things up so that other than setting my mail aside, she will not have anything to do, because Lord knows she has her hands full with the day-to-day existence of her sister Marg.

On a happier note I bought myself a new microwave, to replace this one that had a calf. Because they gave me a good price I ended up buying a fancy-schmancy stainless steel model. I think if I really apply myself I should be able to figure out how to boil water in a few days. Sheesh! It took me 10 minutes just to set the clock, of course it took me a month to figure the other one out so I guess I'm doing okay.

I actually checked out three RV parks, and they ranged from not a chance, to are you kidding me? so next Monday, the 1st, The Bear is on it's way to Arizona. As the sign said, YeeHaw!! I've also got a safe place here in Clinton to leave the car, so everything is coming together.

Other than giving both the Bear and the car a real good servicing this week, I'll just be biding my time. A week ago my heart wasn't into it, but now I'm getting a bit excited. At least I think I am because since it's too cold here to be sweating, I'm not sure what that is running down my leg. Oh, will you please stop!

Now I've got a chore to do that came about because of some mis-communication on my part, so I'm off to make a mea culpa and reply to your appreciated comments. Take care, and I'll probably see you tomorrow.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 2:44 AM


Sunday, September 23, 2007

Morning folks. Well, in a few short hours I'll be heading down to White Rock to finalize things and visit with Boop for the last time this year. She as usual has been a godsend with the help she has given me through this transition. Since she is the one person in the world I completely trust, and those I deal with know that, she has been able to get so many things done without my being there.

For example, working with my specialist, she was able to get my prescription re-filled at the Cancer Clinic, something that I thought near impossible. Also, with so much debit card fraud etc out there anymore, she has free rein on my meagre holdings. Having worked in a bank until retirement she knows what to watch for, again without my being there. I could go on, but let's just say that I have a guardian angel, and have had for almost 48 years. You can be assured that besides giving her a big ol' hug, I'll be slipping a little something into her purse.

Although I'll be checking out those two RV parks on the way down, I'm 95% sure I'm heading to Arizona, especially after waking up to this yesterday morning

Although it's pretty enough, it's also a sign of what's on the way. There was a time, not that long ago, when I looked forward to winter, but not so anymore. Besides, if sitting in a 34' Suncruiser with 2 air-conditioners, but not winterized, doesn't send a message, then I'm beyond help.

So it looks like Oct 1 I'll start working my way south. I'm hoping to talk with the fellow from Glendale on the phone today, but until then I won't know which of three places I'll end up. But it doesn't really matter, because I probably won't sit in one place the whole winter. If I watch my nickels I might even be able to afford a trip over through New Mexico, Texas, and Louisiana. Can you say shrimp, lots and lots of shrimp!

Well guys, time for the 4 S's, ...., shower, shave, and shampoo. Should be back on Tuesday, with hopefully more good news. Hope you're all well, and as always, thanks for stopping by.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 1:12 AM


Saturday, September 22, 2007

Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine, the other four. The nine-year old grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for check-out. The cashier asks, "Oh, these must be for your Mom, huh.?"

The nine-year old shakes his head and replies, Nope, not for my Mom." Cashier: "Well, they must be for your sister then?" Nine-year old: "Nope, not for my sister either." Cashier, curious now: "If they're not for your Mom and not for your sister, who are they for?"

The nine-year old says, "They're for my four-year old brother." Surprised, the cashier asks, "Your little brother right here??"

Nine year old explains: "Well, yeah! They say on TV if you wear one of these you can swim or ride a bike, and my little brother can't do either!"

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.

It's the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He's a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he goes to the front door, the girl's father answers and invites him in. "Carrie's not ready yet. Why don't you have a seat?"

Carrie's father asks Bobby what they're planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the soda shop or a movie.

"Why don't you two go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it!"

Naturally, this comes as a quite a surprise to Bobby so he asks Carrie's dad to please repeat himself.

"Yeah," says Carrie's father, "Carrie really likes to screw; she'll screw all night if we let her!"

A few minutes later, Carrie comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt and announces that she's ready to go. Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts his date out of the front door. About 20 minutes later, Carrie rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and screams at her father, "Dad, it's called the Twist!"

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 3:51 AM


Friday, September 21, 2007

Morning folks. Finally got a connection, however weak it is. Just wanted to say Hi, and let you know that all is well here.

With the colder, damper weather lately I think the decision on Arizona has been made for me. I've been paid a visit by my old arch nemesis, Mr Arthur Itis, and he has come back with a vengeance. Took me forever to get the cap off of a bottle of ibuprofen, in hopes of getting the swelling in my right hand down.

Oh well, the ravages of age. So unless those two RV parks I'm going to check out on Sunday are really special, I think I'll be taking this bag of worn-out bones down to a more hospitable climate.

Not sure if even this little bit will post, so I'll end here. If I can get on tomorrow I'll stick up a few haw haws, if not I'll see you when I can. Enjoy your weekend.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 4:00 AM


Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Morning folks. As accustomed as I've become to the peace and quiet I found in the Yukon this summer, and now here in Clinton, with the temperature here this morning at -3C, I think the sign says it all.

I guess it's time to return to so-called civilization, although I shudder at the memories of traffic scenes like this. Having spent countless hours inching along some freeway or another I'm not anxious to go back to it, but I'll just grit my tooth, get it over with, and hopefully find a quiet place down there.

Although I'm absolutely not anti-social, I've come to realize that in a lot of ways I've always lived in my own cocoon, the cab of my truck. Get loaded, fueled up, shower, eat, etc, and for the next few days I was in my place. Then I would have to deal with people. Get unloaded, re-loaded etc, and off to the next adventure. In some ways I'm still living that life here in the Bear.

It's certainly not the life for everyone, but I feel fortunate that I can still live it. There will come a day I suppose when it will no longer be possible, but I don't want to think of that. You take my "wheels" away and you might as well pull the plug.

Alright, that's enough soul-searching for now. There are still two possible winter sites up here to check out, but I'm not hopeful. By Monday I'll know, and if they don't pan out then I'll start preparing to "Crank on 'er". If it turns out that way I'll probably leave in three weeks, but either way I'm okay with it.

Hope you're all well, and I'll probably see you tomorrow.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 3:10 AM


Monday, September 17, 2007

Morning folks. Since I couldn't get online yesterday, L'il Bear has been a little miffed. He wanted me to tell you about my seeing Dixie, so just to ease his mind I let him show up today.

Figuring that Dixie had been out at her "estate" long enough that seeing me wouldn't confuse her, and for my own peace of mind, I went out for a visit. Confuse her? Hell, she didn't pay any attention to me. Other than coming over as she would to anyone, she paid me no mind. I won't use the fellow's name, but every time he moved she was glued to him. They have so bonded.

He brings her into town when he comes in, but when they go back out, he closes the gate and she has complete freedom to roam off leash. He tells me that she has her schedule. First thing in the morning she checks "her" yard, does her duties, then comes in for breakfast. Watching her out there, and the interaction between them, confirms for me that I did the right thing.

He is a very private person, and asked that I not post any pictures, which I respect. But believe me, it truly is a country estate. In fact the other day he took her quail hunting, and now I'm glad I had her nails done, because she seems to be living quite a hoity-toity life. Certainly one much better than I could offer, and that's what I wanted for her.

Not much happening here this week, but I will be going back down to White Rock on the weekend to finalize everything, and hopefully get my prescription refilled at the Cancer Clinic. I'll be checking out two possible winter sites on the way down, and if they don't pan out, then I'm Arizona bound. It's funny, but as much as I love travelling, my heart is not into going south, and I think it's because I've settled in here so well. But with the weather coming, and the Bear not being winterized, I've either got to move closer to the coast, or go all the way, and head for Arizona.

Hope your week goes well for you, and as always, thanks for stopping by.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 3:04 AM


Saturday, September 15, 2007

Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady standing at the coffee machine, inhales a breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and states that she wants to file a grievance against him.

The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled by this decision and asks, "What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"

The woman replies, "It's Keith...the midget!".
The Englishman's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. "Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any knickers?" her husband demanded. "Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any." The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says,"For the sake of decency, here's $50. Go and buy yourself some underwear."

Next, the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she is wearing no undies. "Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no knickers. Why not?" She replies, "I can't afford any on the money you give me." He reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency, here's $20. Go and buy yourself some underwear!"

Lastly, the Newfie's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it. "Sweet mudder of Jesus, Aggie! Where the frig are yer drawers?" She too explains, "You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta affarrd any." The Newfie reaches into his pocket and says, "Well, fer the love o' Jasus, 'n the sake of decency, here's a comb. Tidy yerself up a bit."
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day Gladys and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?"

He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So Marilyn called him an arsehole. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket.

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus.
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle.

A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.

So, I figure if I have to roll my own ................... so does she.
Thanks Jim

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 2:31 AM


Friday, September 14, 2007

Morning folks. Well, here we are, it's Friday already. Boy, the time sure flies when you stay drunk, it seems like only yesterday it was Thursday. Don't mind me, I'm just being goofy.

My bud Jim came up with a place in Arizona for me, but after talking with him on the phone, and learning of a condition, I passed on it. Seems that in order to get the quite reasonable rate of $175/month you have to pay 6 months in advance. Uh uh, no way, no how. I've been burnt twice already, and if one month ahead isn't enough, then I'm not interested. Too many pitfalls, you could end up with the family from hell beside you, lousy internet connection, etc etc. But all is not lost.....

Remember the fellow from Phoenix that I gave the bike to? At the time he had told me that I could park at his place, so I contacted him by e-mail and, wonder of wonders, he's for real. The offer still stands. So many times people say things that turn out to be just so much wind. So now I'm excited about talking to him on the phone and teeing things up. YES!!

On the subject of real people, and not wanting to embarrass him, I've got to tell you what Jim has done for me. Because I'm still sort of transient I don't have a land-line phone, and haven't activated my cell phone. So when I need to make some calls I've been dragging a gunny-sack full of coins down to the lodge. Without my saying a word about it to him, he has given me his calling card number, including the PIN, to use as I see fit. Now that's a friend! I try to live like that, and it warms my heart to know there are still good people out there. You, and he, can be sure that the privilege will not be abused, and any calls I make I will absolutely pay for with interest. Lots of interest!

Until I talk with the fellow in Phoenix, Glendale actually, I'll keep the thought of a winter site up here in the back of my mind, but it's looking more and more that I'm Arizona bound. Also the owner here has reserved a site for me in Quartzsite, but for reasons that I'll explain later, that's barely a blip on my radar screen.

Even though this started on a whiny tone, it sure is ending on a happy one. As soon as I talk with him I'll let you know what is happening. Keep your fingers crossed, because I think it's going to work out.

Enjoy your weekend, and if you want to pop by I'll have some chuckles up tomorrow, and an appearance by L'il Bear on Sunday. (Hopefully)

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 2:36 AM


Thursday, September 13, 2007

Morning folks. While the Bear is a real good motorhome, it do like it's gas. It cost me just under $3000 to go up to the Yukon and come back this far. So with the planned trip to Arizona being approximately the same distance, fuel cost is a big part of the decision, but that has been made easier by recent events.

With the US$ being at a 15 year low against most major currencies, our beloved(?) loonie is approaching par, being at 96.8 cents on Wednesday. With the average price of gas in the states I'd be driving through at approx $2.90US that would mean about 80 cents a liter after exchange. Compare that to the high I paid up on the Dempster Highway of $1.569 you can see how that eases the pressure. Add to that the fact that, fair or unfair, things like food etc are much cheaper on average than here, you can see that the economics are right.

The one snag is what to do with the car. If I was to take it down with me it would mean buying a car dolly, license, insurance, taxes, and the extra gas to pull it behind the Bear. I would be lucky to get away for less than $3000. If I wanted, or needed, a car down there I could rent a small economy model for probably $50 or so for the weekend sort of thing.

A fellow here has offered to let me store the car at his place where it would be safe. I would put storage insurance on it, but what happens if I find a spot in my travels that I want to roost at for a while? I guess another ride on the Greyhound (ugh). So, as much as I love the Cattlerack, it's a bit of a pain in the butt right now.

I might still find a place in a bit warmer clime to sit out the winter, but I'm not hopeful. For one thing they are just too expensive. One spot wanted $600/month, PLUS utilities! I may have been born at night, but it wasn't last night. Sheesh!

So there you have it, the whine du jour. If this keeps up I'll have to start serving cheese. Oops, the microwave just bit the dust, and I gave a real good one away. Now there's a whine!

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 2:38 AM


Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Morning folks. I've got a confession to make. I'm addicted to this blasted 'puter, and when I can't get online I'm like a caged lion. Normally I have the disposition of an ol' grizzly with a sore twat, but after losing the connection shortly after posting on Sunday I was definitely not fit for human consumption.

As much as I enjoy kibbitzing with you guys, the truth is that I am a news junkie. With so much going on in the world, and not having any real "hobbies", I'm more than content to travel the globe on here. Some might say that I should get a life, but this is exactly the life I want. I've done my work, wrestled Timmy to at least a draw, got a fully self-contained home on wheels in the Bear, a great car, and most importantly, my freedom.

Although I've been spending money like a drunken sailor, I'm going to do some cypherin' and consider biting the bullet and put an internet satellite dish up top. It's simply a matter of putting things into perspective.

For example, I mentioned maybe upgrading the Bear. Well, the taxes alone would cover the cost, and the Bear is every bit as good as most I see out here. Especially when you consider that I've gone over this thing from stem to stern, and have got everything just the way I want it.

I'll pursue this line of thought if and when I go south. As for that it's looking more and more that I'll be Arizona bound in a few weeks. I've checked out a few possible winter sites in person, by phone, and on here when possible. So far nothing that interests me. I'll be making one more trip down to White Rock, and will check out two possibilities in that area.

I see I've lost the connection again, so I'll stick this in the vault and post it when I can. I actually typed this out Monday afternoon, and if it seems a bit rambling, it's because my ol' bud Alexander Keith is sitting here looking at me.

They say that everyone should believe in something, well, I believe I'm going to have another cold one. Hope you're all well, and thanks for stopping by.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 3:45 PM


Sunday, September 09, 2007

Morning folks. Sorry for being missing in action the last few days, but it was simply more of the same ol' same ol' with the connection. Since I'm poaching whatever signal I can pick up I can't really complain, nor would I, but this latest glitch was a bit of a bummer.

On Wednesday I spent a few hours putting together a real barn-burner of a post for Bushwhackers International. It had two videos, some of his (in)famous gaffes etc, and was ready to put up Thursday morning. I even managed to save it, but then I lost the connection. When I finally got back online last evening I somehow managed to delete it. Oh well, I've got enough Pulitzer Prizes sitting on the mantle anyway. Oh, pullleeeze!

All is well here, although there may be a slight change in plans as regards the trip south. For all the whining I did this summer about not having my "wheels", I'm seriously considering not taking the car with me. Once I've decided I'll tell you the reasons, but that's the way I'm leaning.

As for the trip, I'm probably going to leave at the end of the month, and just take my sweet time going down so as to arrive around the first of November. That is unless I do something else I'm thinking about, so stay tuned for further announcements. It gives me such a sense of freedom to have the option of changing plans if I wish. Footloose and fancy free. When you think of it, that's what retirement should be.

Hope you're all well, and again, sorry for the hit and miss posting. Don't want to lose any of you, so thanks for hanging in.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 3:31 AM


Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Morning folks. Well, the big pow-wow between my two buds took place as planned on Monday at Chez Bear. I sat at the dinette and just let them swap fishing yarns, and kept the coffee coming. Besides being an avid fisherman, Bill is also an avid reader, and he put a smile on Chris's face when he bought three of his books.

I don't want it to seem that I'm flogging Chris's books, because believe me I'm not, but if you want to get the flavor of them, this page is an example. You'll have to scroll down a bit to get to the story, and the parts about Clinton, but if nothing else the old pictures are worth the effort.

Other than the above there's not much happening here ( just the way I like it). Went to Ashcroft yesterday, got my driver's license renewed, and did my shopping. What a treat it is to take a leisurely drive, at my own pace, without some cromagnon riding my donkey so he can get to where he's going 10 seconds faster. About the only traffic I see up here is what I see on the TV news. Been there, done that. Got the T-shirt, got the cap, don't want the belt buckle.

Oops, the connection just broke, at 3:10 am Wed, so I guess it's deja vu all over again. No biggie really, just wanted to say Hi, and will post this when I can. Surprisingly my patience seems to be holding with this nonsense, but Vinny the Vulture is about to swoop down and kick some serious butt. There is another RV park here with it's own Wi-Fi server, but as with Uggieville up in Dawson City, I made the mistake of paying ahead 6 weeks so I'm kind of stuck in this one.

Hope you're all well, and I'll see you when I can.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 6:24 AM


Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Morning folks. I must say, speaking for myself of course, that it's nice to see the l'il guy up there on a Sunday morning. With all that has changed in my life in the last while, it's nice to be able to return to some form of normalcy. I toyed with the idea of putting an image of Dixie up there, but L'il Bear has been a part of this site for so long that I opted to stay with him. Besides, Dixie, bless her little heart, is in a much better place.

Although she was just with me a short while, I became attached to her. I miss our walks, yes even the early morning potty runs when she would take forever to find the right spot to make a "deposit". I miss her sitting over there on the couch with her paws crossed, and when I would look at her, that stubby little tail would get to wagging. As for the vaunted intelligence of Jack Russells, I can assure you that she was at least as smart as a lot of humans I've dealt with over the years.

My new bud Chris, the one I linked to, dropped by and asked me to thank those of you who went over to his book site. I didn't say anything to him about the link for a couple of days, then sent him an e-mail asking if he noticed a bump in his hits. He came roaring in here yesterday with a big grin, and promises of more of those smoked trout. So, on behalf of the ol' cowpoke, thank you!

The culling process I mentioned is well underway, but I gave up on the little paper shredder. God, I had log books, invoices, statements, etc etc going back 20 years. So I built me a big ol' bonfire and burned it all. Michael stopped by and asked why the big fire and I told him I was burning the evidence. So as long as the bodies don't wash up, I think I'm safe. KIDDING!

Hope your weekend is going well for you. Take care of yourselves, and if the Good Lord is willing, and the harness holds, I'll see ya tomorrow.

I had this ready to post at 3 am Sunday morning but couldn't make a connection. Since I don't have much to add to it I thought I'd take the lazy way out, save it, and post when I can. Forgiven?

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 2:12 AM


Saturday, September 01, 2007

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back."

The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?" asks the Irishman. The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness.

Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"

The Irishman replies, "Oh ... I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first."
A husband walks into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water.His wife asks, "What's that for?"

"It's for your headache."

"I don't have a headache."

He replies, "Gotcha!"
A hunter kills a deer and brings it home. He decides to clean it, prepare it, and serve the deer meat for dinner. He knows his kids are fussy eaters, and won't eat it if they know what it is, so he doesn't tell them.

His little boy keeps asking him, "What's for dinner dad?""You'll see", he replies.

They start eating dinner and his daughter keeps asking him what they are eating. "Ok", says her dad, "Here's a hint. It's what your mother sometimes calls me.

"His daughter screams ... "Don't eat it, Jimmy!...It's a f***kin' asshole".
Little Johnny came home from school one day and went by his mom's room. The door was open, so he looked in and saw his mom lying on the bed naked moaning and touching herself saying, "Ooh, I need a man! I need a man!

"The next day, Little Johnny got home from school and saw his mom lying on the bed naked with a naked guy on top of her.

So Little Johnny ran to his room, stripped down naked, and started to touch himself, while moaning, "Ooh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"

Little out of practice, but I'll find some better ones for next week.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 2:40 AM

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