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Saturday, December 31, 2005

The Kiwi And The Gorilla

An Australian Wild Animal Park had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat.

To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the species available. While reflecting on their problem, the park management noticed Ed, a New Zealander, responsible for cleaning the animals cages.

Ed, like most New Zealanders, had little sense, but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of ANY species. So, the park administrators thought they might have a solution.

Ed was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for $500? Ed showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.

The following day, Ed announced that he would accept their offer, but only on three conditions.

"First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her."

"Secondly, you must clip her claws so I don't get scratched to death."

The park administration quickly agreed to these conditions, then asked what his third condition was.

"Well," said Ed, "You'll have to give me three weeks to save up the $500."

Tiger, Tiger Burning Bright

A couple were on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."
The husband replies, "That's no big thing these days."
The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."
"Oh yeah? Who was that?"
"Tiger Woods."
"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"
"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."
The husband and wife then make passionate love.

When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.
"What are you doing?" asks the wife.
The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get some food."
"Tiger wouldn't do that. "
"Oh no? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love with his wife a second time. When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone.
"What are you doing?" she asks.
The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get some food."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it one more time."

The guy slams down the phone and goes back to bed and makes love to his wife one more time.
When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.
The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"
"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods to find out what par is for this damn hole.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 3:37 PM


Friday, December 30, 2005

Morning folks. When I fired up this morning I expected to read the latest shot my "playmate", Jude, took at me so I gathered up some ammo to shoot back. So here I'm sitting with an arsenal of weapons and she does'nt want to "play". Might have to re-arrange the deck chairs on this cruise ship, sheesh!

Now that the foolishness is out of the way it's time to get serious. The endocronologist called yesterday and told me that the government has denied the special authority needed to cover my "head pills". He told me that this is wrong and inexcusable, but that he is becoming numb to it because it is happening so often.

If I have to start paying for this drug again, and last another 10 years (God, I hope so) the cost will be approx $148,600. Putting aside whether I can afford it or not, to most people this would be a death sentence. Without the drug the tumor will grow, and because it's against, and around the Carotid Artery and optic nerve in the brain, I would'nt last very long. Also the neuro-surgeon gave me 5 reasons why he would'nt operate, so I'm kind of caught between a rock and a hard place.

There is still some hope the Cancer Society will cover it, or at least a part of it, but my confidence is waning. I'm now going to have to start rattling cages, and I should'nt have to. I'm far from accepting defeat, but damn this takes the spirit out of me.

Thankfully the diversion you guys provide through this medium keeps me from acting out. It would'nt take much for me to go over to our local elected official's office and show him, physically, what I think of being treated like this. To hell with the consequences, I'd make my point!

Just thinking about kickin' a little butt has put some lead back in my pencil, so watch out ladies, I ain't ready to roll over yet. Well, maybe I am, depends on what you have in mind!

Have a decent day guys, and please, don't worry about me, I'm going to be fine.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 3:41 AM


Thursday, December 29, 2005

Morning folks. To say that I am crestfallen at what took place here yesterday (see comments) would be an understatement. It seems that a bona-fide member of my harem, and an up-and-comer, while discussing a certain, ahem, activity decided to have a little sport with me. When I opted to take the high road and not participate in the double-entendres and innuendos, they called me a, gasp, CHICKEN!. Well ladies, in the photo below are two things. One is a picture of what I DON'T drive, and the other is a message. Now who's laying the eggs?

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 3:07 AM


Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Morning folks. Awright youse guys, what's with the "here's your hat, what's your hurry"? I mention I'm going for a drive and it's don't let the door hit ya where the Good Lord split ya. Sheesh, talk about getting the bum's rush!

Kidding aside, I'll be here for a little while yet. Booper has an appointment with the oncologist on Jan 12th, and will learn at that time, hopefully, the schedule for her radiation treatments. Then it will be every day for approx 3 1/2 weeks. Realizing that the treatments might not start for a month or more, we're going to try to narrow it down a bit so that I could still buzz off and be back in time.

Then just to add a little more drama, it looks like the Government has decided to quit funding my medication. Because it is so very expensive, thousands of dollars a year, I've got to get that straightened out. The specialist says that because the tumor is very visible on the CT scan he can get the Cancer Clinic to cover it, but still, just more baloney to put up with. If push comes to shove I can pay for it, but damn, 10 years of that, assuming I last that long, would be far more than I want to pay without a fight. In fact I spent $16,000 in just over a year before I got it covered, now this!

Now a little Mea Culpa. Because of the above nonsense, the Xmas season, etc., I've been getting behind on my homework. I just have'nt been visiting everyone's site as much as I'd like to, and for that I apologize. It does'nt mean I don't love you all (oh, quit sucking up!), it's just that sometimes doodoo do occur.

Have a decent day guys, I'm off to see what kind of snarky answers I can give to yesterday's comments. Ain't this fun?

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 3:31 AM


Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Morning folks. While none of us like to admit it, there is a certain amount of stress involved with major events like the Xmas season. Although it went well for me, it's almost like whew!, another one over. But then as we fall back into our normal routines we realize how important those times are, stressful or not. If only we could carry that spirit with us all year, but with everyones lives being so hectic these days, that would be a bit much to ask.

What I really wanted to say this morning is that I'm going to love you and leave you. I've got to hang around for a few weeks to take Booper in to the clinic for her radiation treatments, but once that is done I'm going for a drive. It's been a while since I did anything really stupid, but I think that driving 2700 miles across Canada in the middle of winter, take my sister to lunch, then drive back home, should qualify. Truth is I've just got to get out and do something. I'm tired of doctors, tests, pills, etc, etc. Timmy is what he is, and I've got to stop letting him run my life.

I've got too many thoughts banging around up there so I think I'll get out of here before I get booed off the stage. Have a decent day guys.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 4:20 AM


Monday, December 26, 2005

Not sure if his name is Johnathon, but for a break from all things Xmas, here's a nice shot of a Livingston Seagull. This one should click open.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 12:46 PM


Morning folks. I'm happy to be able to report that I am still a free man this morning, because I'm certain it is illegal to eat as much as I did yesterday at dinner. Of course I did it just to show my appreciation for all the work that went into preparing it. Yeah right! The truth is I likes my eats, and in a setting like that why not indulge yourself. After all, you're with family, so dig in!

I had one of my grandsons, Rory, sit beside me because I like goofing around with him. So after all the platters of food were set on the table, which was about the size of a small landing strip, I said to him, "let's show these weenies how to really eat". "Right on Grandpa"!, and we put on an award winning performance. I've got a fair amount of room, but I swear I don't know where he put it.

By now the rest of the grandchildren were determined to show that "we ain't no weenies" and off we went. I'm sure to a stranger we looked like a pack of ravenous wolves, but the tears of laughter would have been the tip-off that this was a family having a wonderful time together.

The mis-perceived gluttony aside, can you tell that I had a great time? It is my sincere hope that each of you had an equally great time, although not necessarily with that much food. When Booper finally sent me packing it was with a doggie-bag that would suit someone with a St. Bernard. Oh, did I mention the Tupperware containers of different pies, cake, and yes, COOKIES!

All this one-fingered huntin' and peckin' has given me an appetite, think I might have a little "snack". Although there is no audience I might just put on another performance, because when it comes to "eats", I ain't no weenie!

See ya later today, if I don't get high-centered on this platter.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 3:41 AM


Sunday, December 25, 2005

Morning folks. I have seriously got to get a life, or learn how to sleep. Here it is 3 am Xmas morning and I'm sitting at this blasted thing. Guess I should'nt bad-mouth the 'puter because without it, and you guys, I'd be all the way up the wall instead of just half-way.

Had an open-house here last night that went well. Family and friends stopped by for a little visit, a cup of Xmas cheer and exchange of gifts. By the look of the pile under the tree I did pretty well. Knowing what most of them are does'nt take away from the fun of opening them. Wonder where the cookies are, oh right, I ate them!

Later today we will all get together at Booper's for the big dinner, which I'm looking forward to. Last year there was 17 of us at the table and one of my sons said "see what you created"? Yes Bob, I do, and it makes me feel great. The presents under the tree are nice, but this my Xmas present.

Hope all of you have a nice day, and as you look around, give thanks.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 3:24 AM


Saturday, December 24, 2005

Morning folks. During my little hiatus I thought I would try my hand at baking something to contribute towards the Xmas dinner. It took a few trys, but, damn, it was fun!

Christmas Cake recipe

1 cup of water
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 bottle of vodka
2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the vodka to check quality.

Take a large bowl, check the vodka again.

To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.


Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.

Make sure the vodka is still okay. Try another cup.

Turn off the mixerer.

Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the vodka to check for tonsisity.

Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who giveshz a shit.

Check the vodka.

Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or something. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven and piss in the fridge. Turn the cake tin 360 defrees.

Don't forget to beat off the turnerer.

Throw the bowl through the window.

Check the vodka again and go to bed.


Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 5:23 AM


Tuesday, December 20, 2005

I think I'll take a break from posting for a few days. This does not mean that I won't be keeping an eye on you, so BEHAVE! Don't make me saddle up my butt-whuppin' posse.

You're a great bunch of people, and I feel privileged to be a part of this blogging community.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 1:31 PM


Morning folks. Just popped in to say Hi and let you know that all is well. I was going to do the "drilling a dry hole" bit, but you're probably as tired of that as I am. If it was'nt for the fact that you guys are so nice to me, and show concern, I would'nt even bother with this much.

Hope all is well with you also, and that your Xmas plans are coming together for you. Thanks for stopping by, and I'll see you all later. (Oops, see y'all later, eh?)

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 4:39 AM


Monday, December 19, 2005

This is another of the pictures my son sends me. I thought that this scene of downtown Kimberley B.C. would interest those of you that live in large metropolitan areas with all the attendant hustle and bustle. Would'nt a stroll with your honey down this street put you in the Xmas mood? As Vickie says, sometimes Life Is Simply Good. Go over and see her, she put up a heckuva post today.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 12:05 PM


Morning folks. With only six more shopping days until Xmas I'm doing okay. I managed to cross a lot of people off my list this week-end, did'nt get them anything, just crossed them off the list. BA-DUMP! Sure takes the stress of crowded malls etc. out of your life, in fact it works so well that next year I won't even have a list.

Other than that bit of foolishness there is not much to natter about. Things are fine here, getting into the spirit of the season a bit, feeling reasonably well, so it's kind of a "no news is good news" post.

One thing did happen that is a bit too serious to be considered nattering. There was no harm done, thankfully, but I learned a good lesson about not making assumptions. Call me a weeny if you will, but I do care about people. I'm sometimes a slow learner, but I do learn. As I said, no harm, no foul, but I've got to stop reading things that were'nt said.

See ya later today.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 4:19 AM


Sunday, December 18, 2005


Have you gazed on naked grandeur where there's nothing else to gaze on,
Set pieces and drop-curtain scenes galore,
Big mountains heaved to heaven, which the blinding sunsets blazon,
Black canyons where the rapids rip and roar?
Have you swept the visioned valley with the green stream streaking through it,
Searched the Vastness for a something you have lost?
Have you strung your soul to silence? Then for God's sake go and do it;
Hear the challenge, learn the lesson, pay the cost.

Have you wandered in the wilderness, the sagebrush desolation,
The bunch-grass levels where the cattle graze?
Have you whistled bits of rag-time at the end of all creation,
And learned to know the desert's little ways?
Have you camped upon the foothills, have you galloped o'er the ranges,
Have you roamed the arid sun-lands through and through?
Have you chummed up with the mesa? Do you know its moods and changes?
Then listen to the Wild -- it's calling you.

Have you known the Great White Silence, not a snow-gemmed twig aquiver?
(Eternal truths that shame our soothing lies).
Have you broken trail on snowshoes? mushed your huskies up the river,
Dared the unknown, led the way, and clutched the prize?
Have you marked the map's void spaces, mingled with the mongrel races,
Felt the savage strength of brute in every thew?
And though grim as hell the worst is, can you round it off with curses?
Then hearken to the Wild -- it's wanting you.

Have you suffered, starved and triumphed, groveled down, yet grasped at glory,
Grown bigger in the bigness of the whole?
"Done things" just for the doing, letting babblers tell the story,
Seeing through the nice veneer the naked soul?
Have you seen God in His splendors, heard the text that nature renders?
(You'll never hear it in the family pew).
The simple things, the true things, the silent men who do things --
Then listen to the Wild -- it's calling you.

They have cradled you in custom, they have primed you with their preaching,
They have soaked you in convention through and through;
They have put you in a showcase; you're a credit to their teaching --
But can't you hear the Wild? -- it's calling you.
Let us probe the silent places, let us seek what luck betide us;
Let us journey to a lonely land I know.
There's a whisper on the night-wind, there's a star agleam to guide us,
And the Wild is calling, calling. . .let us go.
{Sorry for the dis-jointed lines,the page is too narrow}

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 3:47 AM


Saturday, December 17, 2005

Morning folks. This week's contributors are Booper and Huggy, and since I'll be having Xmas dinner with her, and don't want to have to hire a food-taster, we'll start with Boop's:

A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of the plane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, and then shuddered for 10 or 15 seconds.The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, gently wiped her nose, and shuddered again.

The man was becoming more and more curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed and the woman sneezed one more time. Again she took a tissue, gently wiped her nose and shuddered violently.

The man could'nt restrain his curiosity. He turned to the woman and said, "Are you alright?" "I'm sorry if I disturbed you", the woman replied, "I have a rare condition; when I sneeze I have an orgasm". The man was a little embarrassed but even more curious and said, "I've never heard of that before. What are you taking for it?" The woman looked at him and said "PEPPER".

Now Huggy's:

Female Vs. Male Definitions

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...Any part under a car's hood.
Male.......The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female...Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male........Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female...The open sharing of thoughts and feelings through words.
Male........Leaving a note before taking off for a weekend with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female...A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male... ....Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's
girlfriend or wife.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.v.
Female...A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male.......Anything that starts with alcohol, involves flatulence, and
ends with sex.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female...An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
Male.......A source of entertainment, self-expression, and male bonding.

7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male........Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up having sex.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female...A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male........A contol device (that gives a great sense of power to the
holder) for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.


1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK.

2. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER.

3. She is not EASY.

4. She is not DUMB.

5. She has not BEEN AROUND.

6. She is not an AIRHEAD.

7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY.

8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS.

9. She does not NAG YOU.

10. She is not a SLUT.

11. She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS.

12. She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE.


1. He does not have a BEER GUT.

2. He is not a BAD DANCER.

3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME.

4. He is not BALDING.

5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER.

6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK.

7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS.
- He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.


9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT.

10. He is not HORNY.

11. It's not his crack you see hanging out of his pants.....

Have a decent day folks, and if you can, drop by tomorrow for another Robert Service poem.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 3:32 AM


Friday, December 16, 2005

I could'nt give you one of the pups for Xmas, Lex, because they all found homes, so how about this little fellow? This is a Goldcrest, and he's already in the tree waiting for Santa.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 12:25 PM


Morning folks. That was a most interesting day here yesterday. When I mentioned that I did'nt have a whole lot of ho-ho-ho in me I was sure I'd be taken to task, but sadly a lot of you feel the same. The reasons are many and varied, but when we lose the child-like excitement about this most special of times we have lost a part of ourselves, and that is truly sad.

I want to assure you that I am not a male chauvinist that believes in "keep them barefoot and pregnant", but when the gender lines started getting crossed because of economics it became a slippery slope to where we are today. It is far more important for the woman to be the nurturer to the children than the supplement to the man's income. But with the life-style that most people live that is no longer possible.

One reader mentioned decorating, baking, etc., but with both parents working that's almost a thing of the past. I realize I'm wandering a bit here, but with worrying about the mortgage, maintaining two vehicles, day-care, the blasted credit cards, etc. etc., who has the time for those things. Most people are wore out just trying to keep up.

Both Jude and Goob got the essence of what I'm trying to say in their comments yesterday. My family is not wanting for anything, thankfully, but I don't see the excitement I remember at that age. Maybe it's just a part of getting a bit older, but damnit, I want to hang my stocking again.

Guess what?, I'm going to put the tree up! I'm also going to hang a big ol' work sock and tell my family to stop by and leave me a present. Corny?, you bet! but I'm not giving up on Xmas.

Catch ya later today, and DON"T show up empty-handed.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 4:05 AM


Thursday, December 15, 2005

After this morning's post, below, I thought I'd try to get into the spirit of the season by going downtown and spreading a little Xmas cheer. I'm told that if convicted I'll be out in time for the big the year 2008.

However my attorney feels that we have a good chance of having the charges dropped, due to a total lack of evidence.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 12:09 PM


Morning folks. Does anyone else find it harder each year to get into the Xmas spirit, or am I becoming a Grinch? It's probably sacrilegious to say, but I kind of wish it was over.

Whether it's because of getting a little older, or the over-commercialization, it's just not a lot of fun anymore. I'm looking forward to Xmas dinner with the family, but beyond that I don't have a whole lot of ho-ho-ho in me.

My son stopped by yesterday and I was surprised that at age 44 he's starting to feel the same way. In fact he said that if it were not for having children at home he and his wife would probably take a trip.

We used to do it up right when the boys were young, and those great memories are almost enough for me. Remembering the decorating of the house, inside and out, sitting by the tree Xmas morning and passing out the presents, watching the boy's reactions, those are the things that get me through the season. I guess there is truth in the old saying that Xmas, for the most part, is for the kids.

I'm really not in a downer mood about it, in fact a lot of people I talk to feel the same way. However I have an antidote for the blahs....COOKIES! But I'm sure that as the big day approaches I'll get me some spirit, I'll always do.

See ya later today.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 4:03 AM


Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Yesterday I received a basket of goodies, so today it's my turn to come up with a basket for you guys. As much as I enjoy me a cookie or 6, I would love to have one of these cuties under my tree Xmas morning. Unfortunately the tight-asses on the strata council have made this a no-pets building.

I received this picture in an e-mail from a local friend this morning, saying that homes were needed for these beauties. I just checked with her, and sure enough they've all got homes. She sent out a mass mailing, and within hours it was done. Good stuff!

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 12:21 PM


Morning folks. Because I'm still feeling like something the cat coughed up I have'nt gotten around to answering your appreciated comments. I go through this occasionally, so I'm getting used to it, and considering the alternative, I'm actually doing plumb fine.

Once in a while something will happen that makes you realize that there truly are good people in this world. The picture below shows what was delivered to me yesterday via UPS. In addition to the obvious fine chocolates, brownies, fortune cookies, ginger-bread creations, and box of truffles (how great is that?) is something that should provide the needed hint as to who sent this wonderful gift/pick-me-up.

What is it you ask, sheesh, what a nosy bunch! (insert smiley here) Below this wonderful array of goodies are 3 dozen of the moistest, chewiest, most delicious, are you ready?...COOKIES!!! Or as I call them, health food. Am I lucky or what? I've got to go now and get "healthy". Yum Yum!

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 4:47 AM


Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Thought I would go with Tranquility today, because we all need days of reflection. Things are fine with me, just sort of taking a break. Thanks for your comments this morning.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 12:50 PM


Morning folks. Just stopped in to say Hi, and maybe natter a bit. My get-up-and-go seems to have got-up-and-went, which is strange because I actually slept last night. Guess this ol' sack of bones I call a body decided it's human after-all.

Big Dave asked a question in yesterday's comments that deserves more than a passing response. He basically asked about the inter-action between big trucks and the ever increasing number of RVs on the road these days. As soon as I can get my poop together I'll try to write something half-interesting, because it's a subject that affects a lot of people.

I can't concentrate so I think I'll get some more caffeine into me. I inhaled the first cup, maybe this time slow sipping is in order. If this is what sleep does to you I'm going back to 4 hours of it, because I can't handle 7. Think I'll quit while I'm ahead, barely. See ya later today.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 4:45 AM


Monday, December 12, 2005

With this morning's post being about logs, I thought that showing something as simple as a stand of spindly Aspens proves that there truly is beauty all around us. Definitely click this one open.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 12:04 PM


Morning folks. Well, once again I'm drilling a dry hole, so it's back to the well for a post I put up on Feb 13th. Someone had asked me to talk about log-hauling and this was what I wrote of the time I spent logging in the North:

Most heavy-duty logging, up here in my part of the world, does'nt really get going till freeze-up. In order to get all the equipment in; loaders, skidders, trucks etc., the ground has got to be frozen as hard as a certain part of the male anatomy in order to get any production. Hmm, kinda like another application but let's don't go there. It makes for a short season, about 5 months, so it's head down, ass up, because when you have 200,000+ dollars tied up in your logging truck and trailer(s), you don't want to miss a step. So, jump in, let's head for the bush.

Up at 2:30 am, run outside, fire up the truck, set the throttle and make sure all pressures are ok, and while it's banging away warming up, back inside, fill a thermos or two and throw something in your garbage pail, tell the dog to be good or you'll nut him, and off you go. On the road at 3 am, and if all goes real well you'll get two loads into the mill and be back home at 8:30 or 9 pm. First few miles fairly slow, then when temps start to come up, pound on it. Up the Alaska Highway about an hour like a cyclone with a trail of fresh snow behind you, then off the big road, stop, get out, do a walk around the truck ensuring all is ok, water your mule, back into the truck, grab the mike and let everyone know you're on the way in, and give 'er. Because it's a bush road and narrow, with very limited visibilty, it is extremely important to call your miles. Two trucks cannot meet at speed, so the incoming empty bows to the loaded coming out, in other words slow up or stop and get out of his way. He's weighing 100,000+ lbs., looking at a hill so he's got a helluva fire lit and if he has to slow up for you, well, let's just say that after the conversation you're definitely going to have with him, you'll probably look like a raccoon for a week or so. This is serious business, so pay attention to where you are, call your miles, be courteous, and you'll get along fine, because these are great guys. Once in awhile a "super-trucker" shows up, but it usually only takes a day or so for an attitude adjustment, or just run his ass off. Like I said, this is extremely serious work.

Takes about an hour and a half to get in, so just before you get there call the loader operator and he'll tell you which landing he's loading from. A landing is simply where the logs are piled after being skidded from where the fallers knocked them down and the buckers have cut them to length for transport and limbed them. Pull up, turn around, the loader will pick your trailer straight up off your truck, pull ahead, he'll set your trailer down, back into it, and while he goes to get a grapple of logs, get your hitch done up, hook up your air lines and light cord, and stand well back. Once he's got it loaded, put your wrappers(steel cables) on, tighten the snot out of them, jump up in the truck, release the brakes, grab a whole armful of gears, and head for the mill.

Most trucks, and loaders, these days have their own electronic scales. You'd better hope your's are accurate, because when you get to government weigh scale on the big road, if you're a little heavy, it's going to cost you. The ticket is usually big enough to erase everything you'll make on the load, so if you want to be able to pay for your rigging and make at least some wages for yourself, hard work is not enough. You've simply got to pay attention to every detail.

Into the mill, pull up under the crane, undo your wrappers, stand back while he picks your load off, pull ahead to the self-loader, put your trailer back up on your truck, scale out, because you're paid by weight, fuel up, look at your watch(8 1/2 hrs, not bad), and do it all over again. Do this 5 days a week, then on Saturday you can take a break as you work on the truck. Hopefully you did'nt bust anything expensive, or the whole week was for nothing. Being a bachelor, Sunday all I had to do was my shopping, laundry, re-introduction to the dog, and other leisures.

So next time you go to your local lumber yard to pick up some 2x4s, or as I call them, 2xslabs, you'll know some of what it takes to get that piece of wood from a growing 50 or 60 foot living thing to the back of your come-and-pick-me-up truck.

See ya later today.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 2:58 AM


Sunday, December 11, 2005

This is what I had picked out for Jude's Xmas gift, but she's been so mean to me lately (NOT!) that I'm having second thoughts. Hey wait a minute, maybe this post could be my gift. BRILLIANT! Merry Xmas Jude. Ol' Hoss is always trying to make his pile, well I think I've found a way to save a pile. Hah!, and you guys thought I was just a big ol' dummy.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 12:27 PM


Morning folks. I know that technically Sunday is the first day of the week, but in my world it's the winding down day. The working, shopping, and other chores are finished for this week and now a day of rest and contemplation. That is one reason that I love Robert Service poems, and this one so suits the day for me.


Say! You've struck a heap of trouble --
Bust in business, lost your wife;
No one cares a cent about you,
You don't care a cent for life;
Hard luck has of hope bereft you,
Health is failing, wish you'd die --
Why, you've still the sunshine left you
And the big, blue sky.

Sky so blue it makes you wonder
If it's heaven shining through;
Earth so smiling 'way out yonder,
Sun so bright it dazzles you;
Birds a-singing, flowers a-flinging
All their fragrance on the breeze;
Dancing shadows, green, still meadows --
Don't you mope, you've still got these.

These, and none can take them from you;
These, and none can weigh their worth.
What! you're tired and broke and beaten? --
Why, you're rich -- you've got the earth!
Yes, if you're a tramp in tatters,
While the blue sky bends above
You've got nearly all that matters --
You've got God, and God is love.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 3:46 AM


Saturday, December 10, 2005

Morning folks. Today's chortles and guffaws are provided by 2 regular contributor/friends and a welcome new one who will start us off. Take it away WINTHROP J QUIGGY....

In a small southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered an out-of-town visitor. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, the visitor left. At a "Quik Stop" on the edge of town, the curious out-of-towner asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at the visitor, "You stupid Yankees never do read the Bible!" He assured her that he did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible. The shop clerk jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in the visitor's face she said "See, it says right here, the three wise man came from a-far."


Joe, as a small-town bully, liked to have a few drinks at a local bar, then intimidate the patrons. So per his custom, he downed a few shots one night, then walked up to a man at the bar. "Who is the meanest, toughest man in these parts?" he demanded to know. The man responded, "You are, Joe." So Joe repeated his question to different men around the bar, getting the same response each time.

Finally, Joe approached a trucker that was passing through. "Who is the meanest, toughest man in these parts?" he asked. Without saying a word, the trucker picked Joe up and hurled him across the room. Then he smashed a chair over the bully's head before depositing him in the garbage. Joe got up, dusted himself off, then said to the truck driver, "Gee mister. If you didn't know the answer, why didn't you just say so."

And last, but not least, JUDE....

***How To Shower Like a Woman***

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned
laundry hamper according to lights and darks

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any
exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg
cloth, long loofah,wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage
shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint
conditioner enhanced.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub
for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and
jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and
towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any
exposed areas.

***How To Shower Like a Man***

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the
bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at
her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water
rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the

Spend majority of time washing privates and
surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs
stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.


Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor,
light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at
her and make the woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

If there is anyone among you who did not laugh
at the truth behind this, there is something so very
wrong with you.

**** WOO WOO ****

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 3:33 AM


Friday, December 09, 2005

Well folks, we have a winner! Her name is Kate. I can't link you to her, but perhaps she will introduce herself to you. She correctly picked me as the one in the second row from the top, third in from the right side of the picture. This was fun for me and gave me an opportunity to tell you a bit more of who, and what, I am. Thanks to all for playing along.

Please don't for a minute think that this is my Mountain Retreat, it's just something I borrowed to go along with the silliness. Looks pretty comfy does'nt it, with the mountains in the background. Would'nt be too terribly difficult to get into a "yodeling" mood there. (Stop that!)

Stop by tomorrow if you can, I've got some great funnies, all contributed.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 2:00 PM


Morning folks. Well, here we are. The Big Contest. Good luck.

In 1955 I joined the Army, at the age of 16, in what was called at that time, The Soldier Apprentice Program. I was sent to Camp Shilo, Manitoba, to begin a two-year training that consisted of 50% academics, and 50% military subjects. Upon graduation, those that survived (literally) were sent to regular units, supposedly well prepared for advancement. In that regard I did well. Became an NCO quickly, and a qualified surveyor.

My first posting was to Camp Utopia, New Brunswick. I did'nt know it at the time, but the woman I would later meet and marry lived just 25 miles from there. I actually met her 3 years later in Ontario, but that's another story.

After 2 months there the entire unit moved to Camp Petawawa, Ontario. Although I did well, my heart was always behind a steering wheel. Imagine the sheer joy I felt when I was picked to drive the lead vehicle in the convoy. I can use a slide rule, logarithim tables, do triangulations, quadractic equations, etc. etc., but my love in life is the open road. I breezed through a book-keeping course once, and then got a job driving a dump truck. Go figure.

I stayed in the Army another 3 years, and although it was a positive thing, I always regretted not having a normal teen-age life. It seemed that I was always under the gun, first in the Army, then getting married at age 21 and having three children in 3 years. I certainly don't regret that part, but I often wonder if the reason I sowed a few wild oats was because I never really had a chance to grow up.

Now to the contest. Pick me out of the Graduation picture above. Imagine, I was only 18 when that was taken, and already had two years in the Army. Click open to enlarge.

If the winning entrant is a female the prize will be a week-end of wanton debauchery at a moutain retreat, where the hills will have never heard such joyous yodeling.

If a male, a polite Congratulations will be awarded.

Back later today. The week-end will be the normal Saturday Chuckles and a poem on Sunday.

*** Update at 9 am PST ***

Other than in the front row of Officers and NCOs, look for a feature of mine not found on anyone else.

***Clue #2 *** Posted at Noon.

What is the first thing you notice when you look at my picture in the left side-bar, other than the butt-ugliness? Contest closes at 2 pm PST. See you then.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 2:48 AM


Thursday, December 08, 2005

I have'nt heard from one of my main squeezes for a few days so I thought I would try to draw her out with this Swallowtail Butterfly. If this does'nt work I guess I'll have to resign myself to the fact that she has found another. OR NOT!

Stop by tomorrow if you can folks, because I have a contest for you, with prizes!

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 12:37 PM


Morning folks. I've mentioned, a number of times, the fact that I don't sleep very much. While sitting here trying to think of something that might pass for a post, I thought of one I put up on Feb 14 of this year. I realize I'm running the risk of going to the well too many times, but this one fits in with my continual struggle with sleep. Maybe I just need to get my hedge clipped(oh, stop that!), but still...hmm.

Sitting here at the computer at the ridiculous hour of 3 am, when I should be in bed, has got me thinking of the strange sleep patterns of humans as we go through the life-cycle.

As new-borns, other than eating and filling diapers, sleeping is a big part of the day. Oh sure, we'll wake up and yowl for awhile, but that's just to get ready for our nap.

Then we hit the terrible twos and almost have to be shot up with drugs to settle down. Of course, by then we're on a high enough sugar intake to be able to climb most walls, and drive most people to wonder if they'll survive, let alone get some sleep of their own. This pattern usually lasts till the teen-age years.

As teen-agers, besides hanging out at the mall, or partying, sleeping again becomes a big part of the day, with occasional breaks for eating anything in sight. Try waking a 16yr old up at 6 am, good luck.

Then, glory of glories, we hit adulthood. Finally we can do whatever we want without Mom and Dad on our case. Things like looking forward to 40 or 50 years of working, paying taxes, and bringing another generation in to go through the cycle. Oh god no, I don't want to do this, tough luck buddy-boy, off your butt, it's your turn to drive. This is the stage of your life when sleep is almost a luxury, but you stumble along knowing that one day, the good lord willing and the harness holds, you'll make it to retirement and go back to the days of sleeping all you want.

So what is going on? I made it through all the stages, am retired, have no worries or pressures, and am almost like the two-year old who needs to be shot up with drugs in order to sleep. In my case I think it is from too many years on the road getting by on 4 or 5 hrs a day, whenever you could take them. I know that in the grand scheme of things this is a pretty piddly thing, but damn it, I often wish that I could just go to bed and SLEEP!

See ya later today.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 3:32 AM


Wednesday, December 07, 2005

While yesterday's Chaffinch was a pretty little bird, this Red-Tailed Hawk shows that even in predatory birds there is a natural beauty. To watch one of these swoop down from seemingly nowhere, and zero in on an unsuspecting field mouse is awe inspiring. All in the balance of Nature.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 12:18 PM


Morning folks. Lately I've been mentioning my son Bob a lot, but the fact is I have three sons, Bob, Mike, and Brian. Because I don't want you to think I have a "favorite", because I absolutely don't, I realized it's past time to mention the others. That's when a post I wrote on May 23rd came to mind, so if you don't mind, another post from the past:

Most people know the feeling of dread one feels when hearing of a serious accident where a loved one might be involved. If the loved one is one of your children, no matter the age, the feeling is multiplied a thousand-fold. A little history......

I've mentioned that one of my sons, Brian, works up north in what we call the "oil-patch". That name is given to the part of the country where literally oceans of oil and natural gas are found. It would be hard to describe the enormity of the projects on-going. One such project is a steam injection operation where-by the oil is forced out of the ground, processed, and the water re-cycled to repeat the process. This is just one of many such sites, and will take 10 years to complete. Being a work-a-holic, guess who he blames for that, he works 24 days in, then a 4 day break, and back in. His work-days are usually 16hrs, but often go around the clock. His brothers are the same, and that is blame that I proudly accept. I've even heard that the grandchildren are showing signs of having inherited the same gene. Now to the point of the post......

Brian's 4 day break starts with a 6 hour bus ride to Cold Lake, Alberta, where he stays with a buddy. To come home entails a further 1000 mile flight, so he does that every second cycle. Otherwise he would be spending more than half of his break travelling. So, the other day, Friday, while sitting here trying to get the hang of the transmission in this new "truck", because damn it, I'm still grinding gears like a rookie, I hear a news bulletin about a bus bringing workers down out of Fort McMurray being in a serious accident. Instant panic!

What had happened is a bus full of workers was stopped in a line of traffic, waiting for a single vehicle roll-over to be cleared. Because the workers were understandably impatient, they talked the driver into turning around to find a way around the tie-up. While attempting that dumb-ass move the bus got stuck and was sitting 90 degrees to on-coming traffic. Along comes a fully loaded semi, and with nowhere to go, hit the bus broadside! 4 dead, 19 critical, so far.

Quickly I think, did Brian call this, so I call Booper to see if she had heard from, called his, called his Between us we probably called his cell phone 500 What had happened is the poor guy was so beat, that when his bus, which was hours ahead of the one involved, got to Cold Lake, he turned his phone off, and went to bed. In fact we knew about the accident before he did. Still, you can imagine the panic.

Even though Brian is a very big man, as are his brothers, who stands over 6 feet, and weighs about 280lbs, all I could think of was holding him in my arms as a baby, and the smell of him fresh out of the bath, in his jammys, when I would give him a little hug, and tuck him in. God, how I love those boys! We did'nt get hold of him for hours, and by then I was a wreck. When I finally got him on the phone I was such a wreck that I jumped on him, then immediately apologized. When he realized what had been going on, he started to apologize. So here we are, two guys big enough to move a mountain, bawling our eyes out. Know what folks, it felt damn good! It reaffirmed what I already know, we are such an incredibly close family. Let's just say that it was Hug City around here this week-end.

What with the above and the little snit about this page, it has been a trying time. I, we, have survived and are probably better for it. It brought home to me what is truly important and meaningful in my life. Getting exercised over a stupid truck, and other cutesy images, missing from my page is juvenile. To those of you who pointed that out to're right! But don't be too nice to me, or I'll hunt you down and give you a big ol' hug. After one of those, deep breathing may be painful. Thanks for helping me through this, but it's time to stop all this wussy stuff, throw this thing in gear, and make some miles!

See ya later today.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 2:55 AM


Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Another one for the bird lovers. This is a Chaffinch. Until I started fooling around with things like this I had no idea of the beauty in our little feathered friends.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 1:52 PM


Monday, December 05, 2005

Morning folks. Even though the cat is out of the bag about why my bud was wearing PANTY HOSE (see yesterday's comments), I did'nt know it as I was trying to figure out how to handle things. As soon as I was dressed I started making the ritual waking-up-in-a-truck noises, loudly! Coughing, hacking, swearing, flavoring the air, you stuff! Little wonder he woke up, I could hardly breath in there myself. When he told me he was ready I came out, slid behind the wheel, throttled down, released the brakes, in gear, and off we went.

Down the road we go at a very high rate of fuel consumption for a while when he asks if there is anything wrong. Bingo!, my opening. Off to the side of the road, stop, pull the brakes on, turn the dome light on, look at him and say, "I'm going to ask you a question and if you don't give me the right answer you're walking home from here". I felt bad later with the look that came over his face, because he was not used to this kind of nonsense.

Why are you wearing panty hose? First a look of shock, then "how did you know"? I explained, but I was still a little pi**ed, until he explained. Between bouts of laughter we both tried to apologize, him for not telling me, and me for getting the wrong idea. It turned out he had varicose veins, and his wife worried about him sitting in the seat for 5 days, so she suggested the panty hose, which made perfect sense.

His wife also would'nt let him smoke, which he enjoyed, and made sure he ate properly. By the time we got back, 4000 miles later, I had never seen a man eat as many orders of bacon and eggs, or smoke as many cigarettes. Because he probably smelled like an ashtray, he had a shower and change of clothes at my place before he called his wife to come pick him up.

I took a lot of teasing over the next few years from people who found out about my "panic". He, his wife, and I, remained good friends until they moved away and I lost contact. So there you have it, another chapter of, thanks to Big Dave, As The Wheels Turn.

Have a decent day, back later.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 3:15 PM


My son Bob took this picture yesterday afternoon while driving through Kootenay National Park. Because the animals are so protected they become easy to approach, if done carefully. He sent quite a few pics, including one with a few Elk in it that I'll put up later. I think he does this to torture me, not really, it's because he knows how much I miss being out there myself. Hard to describe the feeling I get knowing he's out there on the same roads I spent so much of my life on. Don't forget to click/enlarge.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 12:46 PM


Morning folks. Well, let's go truckin', but first a small lesson. A Cab-Over (COE) is simply those trucks you see that don't have a hood, meaning of course that the cab sits over the engine. The cover over the engine, called the dog-house, is well padded and serves as a second bed when two guys are sleeping when the truck is parked. Why I'm telling you this will become obvious in a bit.

During the 70's when I was making a trip a week to Alaska a lot of guys asked if they could come along, but I usually said no, for a number of reasons. However, not always, and one guy that I gladly took was a recently retired Forestry company executive that I had a lot of respect for. A true gentleman. It was a pleasure to share my world with him.

So off we went. Because he was such an interesting man to talk with the miles flew by, and by the time I finally powered out we were 800 miles up the trail. I had brought along an extra pillow and quilt and adjusted both the passenger and driver's seats so that he could stretch fully out across the dog-house. It's actually quite comfortable, in fact I've taken many a power-nap that way. I crawled into the bunk, closed the vinyl curtain so that we both had privacy, and off to la-la land. I had left the truck running for heat, and because I don't sleep worth a poop, it was'nt long before I opened the curtain a bit to check the gauges on the dash. Plus I'm awfully anal(oops) about things like that, and those engines are very expensive.

I guess in the 2 or 3 hours we were parked he had flopped around a bit because the covers were part way off him. What I saw scared me so bad I closed the curtain and thought..oh God! how could this be? What do I do now? Okay, settle down. Take another peek and make sure you were'nt hallucinating. Open the curtain a crack, look out, and sure enough, he's wearing PANTY HOSE! Oh my God, how do I get out of this?

As quickly, and quietly, as I could, I got dressed. Because there is no room to stand up in those trucks you have to dress laying down. Oh great! Of course all the time I'm watching the curtain and thinking that at the slightest movement I'm going out through the sun-roof. The fact that the truck did'nt have one was no matter, I'd have made one! Finally I'm dressed.

I did not plan it this way, but this is getting too long, so how be we pick it up here tomorrow. There was a very innocent reason for his "dress", but there's still a bit more drama. See ya later today with a picture.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 3:10 AM


Sunday, December 04, 2005


O dear little cabin, I've loved you so long,
And now I must bid you good-bye!
I've filled you with laughter, I've thrilled you with song
And sometimes I've wished I could cry.
Your walls they have witnessed a weariful fight,
And rung to a won Waterloo:
But oh, in my triumph I'm dreary to-night --
Good-bye, little cabin to you!

Your roof is bewhiskered, your floor is a-slant,
Your walls seem to sag and to swing;
I'm trying to find just your faults, but I can't --
You poor, tired, heart-broken old thing!
I've seen when you've been the best friend that I had
Your light like a gem on the snow;
You're sort of a part of me -- Gee! but I'm sad;
I hate, little cabin, to go.

Below your cracked window red raspberries climb;
A hornet's nest hangs from a beam;
Your rafters are scribbled with adage and rhyme,
And dimmed with tobacco and dream.
"Each day has its laugh," and "Don't worry, just work."
Such mottoes reproachfully shine.
Old calendars dangle -- what memories lurk
About you, dear cabin of mine!

I hear the world-call and the clang of the fight;
I hear the hoarse cry of my kind;
Yet well do I know, as I quit you to-night,
It's Youth that I'm leaving behind.
And often I'll think of you, empty and black,
Moose antlers nailed over your door:
Oh, if I should perish my ghost will come back
To dwell in you, cabin, once more!

How cold, still and lonely, how weary you seem!
A last wistful look and I'll go.
Oh, will you remember the lad with his dream!
The lad that you comforted so.
The shadows enfold you, it's drawing to-night;
The evening star needles the sky:
And huh! but it's stinging and stabbing my sight --
God bless you, old cabin, good-bye!
This is the cabin that Robert Service lived in, and wrote from, in 1908.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 3:38 AM


Saturday, December 03, 2005

Morning folks. This week's edition starts off with regular contributor Big Dave:

A newlywed wife confronted her doctor about her husband's lack of affection of late. "We used to make love intensely every night. Now, I can't remember the last time he showed the kind of passion he did on our wedding night," she said. So the doctor gave her a prescription for some testosterone that she was supposed to slip into his tea. Much later, the doctor to his horror discovered that he had accidentally prescribed five times the usual dose. So he immediately telephoned the young bride.

Before he could speak, the young woman gushed with gratitude. "Oh, doctor, it was unbelieveable. John just couldn't resist me. He reached across the dinner table, pulled me to him, and we made love right there. Dishes went crashing to the floor, glass was everywhere, it was wonderful. Thank you." The doctor felt better, but still guilty. He explained his error and asked if he could at least replace the broken dishes. "That's not necessary," the woman replied. "The manager said we're never to set foot in that restaurant again anyway."

The rest of the post will be me being lazy and putting up something I found at another site. There's a few chuckles, but mainly truisms.

25 Proverbs For A Healthy Life

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.

2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

7. There is not one shred of evidence to support the notion that life is serious.

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

15. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

25. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never run out of material.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 2:38 AM


Friday, December 02, 2005

This is grandson Bobby doing what he loves, going fishing with his Dad. This is their time. Look at the joy on his face as he fights with what turned out to be a 12 lb salmon. Then listen to the joy in my words. I'm a lucky man! Don't forget to click/enlarge.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 12:17 PM


Morning folks. I don't think it was me, but someone has angered the weather Gods because we're getting another dump of snow. Don't they realize that White Rock is the Riviera of Canada and that we're all a bunch of retired weenies. Hope they don't read this, but between you and I, I love it! Just wish it was cold enough to stay a while and not turn to slush within hours.

I must be a little weird (oh really?) because the best times I had truckin' the Alaska Highway were during the winter. There was just something so peaceful about it. I can remember running hard all day, finally stopping to sleep, setting the throttle so that the engine was pulsing regularly, going to the bunk and looking out at the snowflakes gently falling, and falling to sleep at complete peace with the world. I was where I belonged. All by myself at the top of a mountain in my beloved Yukon, and please excuse this, but for me it was almost like being back in Mother's womb. I know it sounds corny, but those are the memories I cherish.

I realize that it's not healthy to live in the past, but God I miss those days. I'd gladly trade all the trappings I have today for one more kick at the can. Like most people I'm often asked what I would do if given the chance to do it all over again. For me the answer is a no-brainer, the exact same thing. We are all products of our environment, and I would not be the person I am today without having lived that life. Opinions may vary on what kind of person that is, but the opinion that counts is mine, and I'm satisfied that I did my best.

Don't know how I got from a mention of a little snow to that outburst, but I guess that's the beauty of having your own blog, you can talk about whatever you want. Because so many of you drop by I have to assume my nattering is not offending anyone, but boring could be another matter. Oh well, it's a great therapeutic outlet for me, and I do so appreciate all of you!

Stop by later if you can, I've got a great picture of my grandson Bobby landing a 12 pound salmon. The look on his face says it all. If you can't make it see you tomorrow with a few chuckles and on Sunday with another poem. Now, go forth and multiply, or at least practice.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 3:28 AM


Thursday, December 01, 2005

I had'nt heard from Lex in a while and wondered if perhaps it was because the weather is so cold back where she lives, so I checked and sure enough it's winter time. Oh, by the way, this is a Blue Tit. Click/enlarge.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 1:01 PM


Morning folks. First off let me apologize for not answering your much appreciated comments yesterday. I'll try to make up for that lapse by being doubly snarky today. (Oh joy!)

The visit with the specialist went better than I had hoped. As it turned out there was no need for me to be aggressive, he completely understood my frustration. Instead of the usual 15 minutes or so I normally got with him he spent over an hour explaining things to me. He is very knowledgeable about Gamma Knife Surgery, and after what he told me, no thank you please! For one thing it is a very controversial procedure with possible side effects that scared me. He is making an appointment for me with the neuro-surgeon so that I can get a second opinion, if you will, but I'm satisfied with what I learned.

He also gave me a good head-to-toe physical, and in his words, other than the blasted tumor I'm a bull. Blood pressure is good, heart is strong, and even though I smoke (gasp) my lungs sound okay. My weight is to the pound what it was one year ago, so that's another good sign. His only concern was that I don't sleep enough, but that comes from years and years of getting along with 4 or 5 hours of sleep, whenever I could get it, on the road.

He's not fussy about my 2 month "cycle" of taking pain medication for 2 or 3 weeks, then just putting up with things until it's time to start over. He said that's too hard on my system, so he's sending a letter to my jerk doctor to prescribe the medication without the ignorant comments.

He's cutting the dosage of my "head pills", cabergoline, because they are awfully strong and he's had me on 6 times normal dosage. He's hoping the tumor will stay in check while being a little easier on me. Yay for me!

There is a spot of bad news though, not for me but for the ladies in my, ahem, "harem". He wants me to go back to taking a shot of testoserone every two weeks. I will try to behave, but if some night you hear a noise and look out to see a horned(y) creature snorting and pawing the ground, please understand it's just the "meds". I think on that note I'll take my leave.

See ya later today.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 3:50 AM

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