Saturday, December 03, 2005
Morning folks. This week's edition starts off with regular contributor Big Dave:
A newlywed wife confronted her doctor about her husband's lack of affection of late. "We used to make love intensely every night. Now, I can't remember the last time he showed the kind of passion he did on our wedding night," she said. So the doctor gave her a prescription for some testosterone that she was supposed to slip into his tea. Much later, the doctor to his horror discovered that he had accidentally prescribed five times the usual dose. So he immediately telephoned the young bride.
Before he could speak, the young woman gushed with gratitude. "Oh, doctor, it was unbelieveable. John just couldn't resist me. He reached across the dinner table, pulled me to him, and we made love right there. Dishes went crashing to the floor, glass was everywhere, it was wonderful. Thank you." The doctor felt better, but still guilty. He explained his error and asked if he could at least replace the broken dishes. "That's not necessary," the woman replied. "The manager said we're never to set foot in that restaurant again anyway."
The rest of the post will be me being lazy and putting up something I found at another site. There's a few chuckles, but mainly truisms.
25 Proverbs For A Healthy Life
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. There is not one shred of evidence to support the notion that life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
25. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never run out of material.
Trucker Bob blogged at 2:38 AM