Saturday, November 26, 2005
Morning folks. This week's edition of Saturday Chuckles, containing a few chortles and guffaws I hope, is made possible by contributions from:
IVY...A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide. The pharmacist said, "why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady explained she needed it to poison her husband.
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord have mercy, I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license, they'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not--you CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, you didn't tell me you had a prescription
JUDE...Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones,they began to chat.The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.
"Miss Beatrice", he said. "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl."Oh, yes" she replied, "isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter."
BIG DAVE...Trucker Bob probably knows all about vehicle inspection and operator licensing from his days driving a rig. What he may not know is that Santa has to jump through some of the same hoops to make his annual Christmas Eve trip. This past week an inspector from the FAA went over his sleigh inch by inch, making sure it was flightworthy. The reindeer were checked out as well. Then he told Santa to hop on in, as the inspector wanted to see if the jolly old elf still could wing it through the skies. After Santa got in, the inspector hopped aboard as well, but not before loading up a double barrel shotgun. "What's that for" Santa asked. The inspector replied, "I want to see how you handle a sudden engine failure."
And finally this one from Anna, the lady at the bank that "looks after me". Hey!, I heard that.
Larry Laprise is dead.
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week.
Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey," died peacefully at age 93.
The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.
Shut up. You know it's funny.
The cartoon to go along with the joke was found and supplied to me by Sadie Hawkins. Stop by tomorrow, if you can, for another poem by Robert Service.
Trucker Bob blogged at 3:45 AM