Saturday, January 14, 2006

Morning folks. Today's submissions are by Karen:

Words Women Use

Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five
minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means "something", and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing", usually end in "fine".

Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT!

Loud Sigh: Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "nothing".

That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means she wants you to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks: This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you, don't question it, just say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly.

Jude:

Redneck Medical Terms

Artery......................The study of paintings.
Benign......................What you be after you be eight.
Bacteria....................Back door to cafeteria.
Barium......................What doctors do when patients die.
Cesarean Section............A neighborhood in Rome.
Catscan.....................Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize...................Made eye contact with her.
Colic.......................A sheep dog.
Coma........................A punctuation mark.
D&C.........................Where Washington is.
Dilate......................To live long.
Enema.......................Not a friend.
Fester......................Quicker than someone else.
Fibula......................A small lie.
Genital.....................Non-Jewish person.
G.I.Series..................World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail....................What you hang your coat on.
Impotent....................Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain..................Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff...............A Doctor's cane.
Morbid......................A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates....................Cheaper than day rates.
Node........................I knew it.
Outpatient..................A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear...................A fatherhood test.
Pelvis......................Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative..............A letter carrier.
Recovery Room...............Place to do upholstery.
Rectum......................Darn near killed him.
Secretion...................Hiding something
Seizure.....................Roman emperor.
Tablet......................A small table.
Terminal Illness............Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor.......................More than one.
Urine.......................Opposite of you're out
Varicose....................Near by

And last, but not least, Peter:

SIXTEEN REASONS WHY ALCOHOL SHOULD BE SERVED AT WORK..

1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It leads to more honest communications.
3. It reduces complaints about low pay.
4. Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to hear.
5. It encourages car pooling.
6. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care
7. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
8. It makes fellow employees look better.
9. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
10. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
11. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
12. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.
13. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
14. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.
15. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
16. Sitting "Bare Butt" on the copy machine will no longer be seen as "gross".


Have a decent day guys, I've got to go and answer some comments left by a couple of the "girls" that got to teasing me last night. This will not be pretty.

Trucker Bob blogged at 4:09 AM

|