Saturday, May 06, 2006
A drunk phoned the police to report that thieves had broken in to his car.
"They've stolen the dashboard, steering wheel, break pedal, even the accelerator," he cried out.
However, before the police investigation could get under way the phone rang a second time, with the same voice came over the line. "Never mind," said the drunk with a hiccup, "I got in the backseat by mistake."
The old cowboy came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day.
The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the Cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail a few feet in front of the sheriff.
The cowboy then moved slowly to the back of his horse, lifted its tail, and placed a big kiss were the sun don't shine. He dropped the horse's tail, stepped up on the walk, and aimed towards the swinging doors of the saloon.
"Hold on, Mister..."
"Did I just see what I think I just saw?"
"Reckon you did, Sheriff...I got me some really chapped lips..."
"And that cures them?"
"Nope, but it keeps me from lickin' them."
An elderly couple, she was 85, he was 90, decided that they would take advantage of modern science to conceive another child. They discussed it with a fertility expert who said it was indeed possible. The doctor gave the couple a jar and asked them to return a semen sample the next day.
The next day, the couple presented the doctor with an empty jar. The husband apologized, "I tried my right hand...I tried my left hand... My wife tried her right hand...My wife tried her left hand. She took her teeth out and used her mouth. We still couldn't get the lid off the jar."
Trucker Bob blogged at 4:11 AM