Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Yesterday, one of the commenters was bemoaning the fact that gravity seems to be having an effect on her figure. In an effort to be understanding of her plight, I did some research and found that, sure enough, it does affect some, ahem, parts. Unlike a boomerang, these "parts", once loosed on their path, don't seem to return. In an effort to be helpful, I'd like to suggest she cut back on the bungee-jumping, but these hippie-chicks are stubborn.




Trucker Bob blogged at 11:20 AM

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Morning folks. Well, that was a bit of fun yesterday with the Hooters thingy. I don't want to ride this horse right into the ground, but I've got a cute cartoon that fits one of the comments, that I'll put up later today. All in fun guys.

Boop's radiation went well, but again she covered with a blanket in the car on the way home, even though I had the temperature set at 90 degrees. Damn, I hate seeing people hurting, especially when there really is'nt anything I can do to help.

While in there I spoke to the pharmacist, and was assured my medication is the proper stuff. He thinks the reaction I got was stress-related, which I totally agree with. He also told me not to be concerned about the funding being cut off, as it was with the @#$%$# health care(?) plan. I had some blood work done last Friday and should get the results today, so I'll know if the dosage change is still keeping Timmy at bay.

As I was waiting for Boop in there yesterday I was noticing the volunteer workers, and the way they interact with the patients. Some were completely at ease and caring, while others made me wonder what the heck they were doing there. One little old lady in a wheel-chair kept trying to get some attention, to no avail, so I asked if there was something I could do for her. In a weak voice she asked if I could get her a cup of tea from the volunteer cart. Of course. When I went to the cart I was told I could'nt do that. WHAT? Let's just say that the lady got her tea, delivered by me, and somebody got an earful, also delivered by me!

That incident got me to thinking that even though I'm not ready to do it yet, I can see the day when volunteer work, of some kind, would be good for me. First I want to do some travelling, but I'm going to remember the cup of tea. God, you can give so much, without giving anything but a little of your time.

Okay guys, off you go. See you later today.

Trucker Bob blogged at 4:16 AM

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Monday, January 30, 2006

Okay folks, you've been warned. It's time us red-blooded males stood up and exercised our rights to view the female form in all it's beauty. So without further adieu, here they are....



Trucker Bob blogged at 11:16 AM

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Morning folks. I can tell, even from this distance, that you guys are anxiously waiting to start another work-week, so I won't hold you up. What's that you say, sarcasm? Moi? Never!

Not much happening here, except for another week of radiation for Boop. She's holding up well, but still, it's got to be tough on her. 10 down, 20 to go, hang in Boop!

Took my "head-pills" a couple of hours ago and everything's fine, no reaction. I think it was just a bit of stress that caused the other. At any rate I'll find out today what they learned from the analysis, but I'm sure all is okay.

Probably be back later today, if I can find a picture worth sharing that does'nt offend anyone. Lately that's becoming hard to do, but it keeps things interesting.

Update 6:20 am

After receiving many letters on the subject I've decided to stop worrying so much about offending, and just do what I want. So, being a healthy male, I've decided to post some pictures of HOOTERS!. Lot's of them. Come on back later and see just how far I'm willing to take this. If you dare!

Trucker Bob blogged at 4:27 AM

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Sunday, January 29, 2006

Morning folks. Well, as you can see, L'il Bear is setting the mood for us again this Sunday. I've got a little something to do first, but I'm going to have to wake him up in a minute and feed him. He has'nt been snoring or making any other "noises", so I'll give him a chunk of pepperoni and that way I'll know he's alright, besides, I need to open some windows anyway.

Now I'd better go and see what Garfield did this time, because I can tell from his expression he's done something he's awfully proud of, and with him you just never know. Oh no, where's Odie?

Enjoy the rest of your week-end, and I'll see you tomorrow morning.

Trucker Bob blogged at 4:36 AM

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Saturday, January 28, 2006

THE CRYING HUSBAND

A woman woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from their bed. In the stillness of the house, she could hear a muffled sound downstairs.

She went downstairs and looked around, still not finding her husband. Listening again, she could definitely hear moaning. She went down to the basement to find her husband, crouched in the corner facing the wall, sobbing.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked him.

"Remember when your father caught us together when you were 16?" he replied. "And remember, he said, I had two choices - I could either marry you, or spend the next 20 years in prison."

Baffled, she said, "Yes, I remember. So?"

"I would have gotten out today."
****************************************************
THE WIFE

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.

After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die.

"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.

"Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly.

"If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."

On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"

"He said you're going to die," she replied.
****************************************************

A BOY'S FIRST TOY




Trucker Bob blogged at 3:32 AM

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Friday, January 27, 2006

Morning folks, or Happy TGIF day to those of you still working for da man, although lately the 5 day work-week is almost a thing of the past. Nowadays both parents are having to work whenever they can just to make ends meet, which I don't think is doing our society any good. Still, compared to my present lot in life, I wish I was still out there. I was reasonably good at some things, but I don't do retirement well.

Booper has a day off from her radiation treatments today, thankfully. She won't admit it, but they're starting to affect her. Coming home yesterday in the car, even though I had the temperature way too warm for me, she covered herself with a blanket. When I dropped her off and she gave me a little thank-you peck on the cheek, her skin felt cold and clammy. She's not one to sit still, but I asked her to stay at home, in fact I call every hour or so just to make sure she does. Damn, she still has 20 more treatments.

We finally had our big election this week, with mixed results. We finally got rid of an arrogant, and sometimes corrupt government, but with the new bunch being a minority government it's still unsettled. One columnist in the paper had it about right when he wrote that Stephen Harper, our new Prime Minister, has been given a length of rope and it is now up to him to either hang himself with it, or round up some support for his programs. There has been a lot of talk in the US media about him being friendly to you-know-who. I can say this with certainty, if he makes a step towards the Bush insanity, he'll be walking alone! Let's get our own house in order before anything.

Hope all of you have a decent week-end. If you get real bored, stop by and I'll try to find some chuckles for tomorrow, and maybe even, gasp!, nekkid pictures.

Trucker Bob blogged at 4:32 AM

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Thursday, January 26, 2006

Morning folks. Sorry for showing up late, but I suppose the ol' saying "better late than never" has some truth to it. Thanks for checking on me, but I'm doing okay.

I do have a couple of little things going on, one of which is kicking my butt. I take my "head pills" on Monday and Thursday, and for some reason the pills the Cancer Agency gave me are really doing a number on me. I noticed (!) it on Monday, and when I took them early this morning I broke out in a terrible sweat. They look the same as far as markings, strength, etc., as the ones I've been taking for the past 3 years, but I'm going to have to find out what's happening.

I'll be picking Booper up shortly to take her in for her radiation, and I'll bring these pills with me and ask them why I'm getting such a reaction. It sounds dumb to even me, but could the other ones I've been taking have been so old that they lost their effectiveness? Stay tuned.

Hope your day is going well, and probably see you tomorrow.

Update 2:30 pm

Just got back. While I did'nt get to speak to a pharmacist, the person I did speak with thought that my idea might have some merit. Because it is not a commonly used drug, it's possible the other was past it's best-before date. But then, what do I know?

They wanted me to leave them all, which I refused to do, but I did leave one so that it could be lab-tested. One reason I would'nt leave them all, besides the fact that I fought so hard to get them, was that if these turn out to be triple-strength Viagara, ain't nobody getting them. After-all I have a fair-sized, ahem, harem, to look after, and it's hard work!

You surely did'nt think I'd let you go without a little goofing around. So rest easy girls, the South shall rise again!

See you tomorrow at my usual ridiculous time. Thanks for your comments.

Trucker Bob blogged at 11:37 AM

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Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Instead of answering each comment on this morning's post (below) individually, I'm going to wimp out and do it this way. Part of my frustration with the gist of that post is that my life has always been an open book, so that having to be "careful" is foreign to me. But what I've come to realize is that it's not just about me. When I involve other people, be they family, friend, or whomever, I absolutely have to consider their safety, and concerns.

While I have never been an "in-your-face" kind of guy, my attitude was that if you want a piece of me, come and get it, but stop and have a damn good lunch on the way. But that kind of "frontier" way of dealing with things does'nt play anymore. Time was when a man would look you in the eye, say what he had to say, and you would work it out, however. I, myself, am not going to change, but I'm going to be much more aware of the life we all have to live today.

Your comments this morning were simply gratifying, in that you guys got what I was trying to say. For that I thank you!

Speaking of a good lunch, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go and pick up a few things.



Trucker Bob blogged at 1:29 PM

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Morning folks. You know, for a guy that has kicked around as much as I have, I'm awfully naive sometimes. Because my personal world is not messed up, I skip merrily along not realizing, sometimes, that not everyone thinks as I do. The fact is, sadly, that there are a lot of weird people out there, and one has to be careful.

What brings this up is a conversation I had with my son last night. While he understands, and appreciates, my pride in him and his family, he has asked that I not put any more pictures up, especially those of little Bobby. How sad that we live in such a world. He's right of course, it's just me and my naivete'.

He did say that if I wanted to share any of the pictures, and there are some great ones, with people I trust to go ahead, just not on the web page. So if any of the people I know as friends would like to see them, I'd be glad to send a few to you.

I suppose I'm going to have to re-think how I do things here, which is truly sad, because I love sharing. I did take a picture of Booper yesterday, and have it here in the computer, but now I'm having second thoughts. I'll chat with her about things today and then decide what to do.

What a double-edged sword. We have this wonderful thing called the internet that allows access to so many, yet we have to be so careful how we use it. I suppose that in this, and other ways, progress is not necessarily always good.

I guess I'm a day older and a lot smarter, and sadder. Oh well. Don't let me bum you out, go out and have a good day.

Trucker Bob blogged at 5:23 AM

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Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Post removed, reluctantly. Wednesday's posts explain the reason.

Trucker Bob blogged at 2:35 PM

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The good ol' days! I've got my load wrapped and am just waiting for my bud to finish his, then down the mountain we go. There is more than enough wood on each truck, when converted to lumber, to build a very big house. Combined weight of both trucks, and loads, is over a half a million pounds. As I said, the good ol' days, that I miss so much!

This should click open.

Trucker Bob blogged at 12:14 PM

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Morning folks. First I want to thank you guys for caring about my "meds" situation which, thankfully, has been resolved. To me this is a classic example of how total strangers, through this thing called a "blog", can connect to the point of forming a bond. Without naming names, I have met people here that have made an impact on my life, and continue to do so. For too long I was so aggressively independent that I had developed tunnel vision, but as my life circumstances changed, I started letting people in, and a whole new world opened up. I have learned, and continue to learn, so much from you guys. When you think about it, some of you were just children when I was out there kickin' butt on the road, and now you're teaching me things about life. I can't imagine how empty, and frustrating, my life would be not being able to do the things I did all those years without you guys filling the void.

Alright, enough of that mooshy stuff, let's get back to our regularly scheduled programming. One of my squeezes just sent me some info on how to do something that I've been having trouble with, no you pervs, not that! A good example of what I mentioned above.

Another one has been having fun making images using my goofing around about the Cookie Monster. It's neat stuff that I'll share with you one day. By the way, check out her site today for a good laugh.

Yet another one is blowing me away with how much our music tastes are alike. I mentioned an artist to her that I was sure she had never heard of, and learned that she is a big fan, and in fact has played the same instrument for years. Because she is real good at putting music on her page, maybe we can talk her into putting this artist on. I know Trace, blackmail!

Yes, I know they are all girls, but I'll be mentioning a lot of guys too. Booper's appt. is'nt until 4:30 pm today, so I guess I'll have to find something to do until then. Got any ideas girls? (This should be good!)

See ya later, and if you can't be good, at least be good at it!

Trucker Bob blogged at 5:11 AM

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Monday, January 23, 2006

Before I get to this afternoon's post, I'm so happy to be able to tell you that I have, in my possession, one year's supply of my tumor medication!!! Now to the frivolity:

With the rising fuel prices a major concern to me, I thought that I would have to keep scaling back on my expectations to the point of not finding a suitable unit. Then, like manna from heaven, I found this beauty. Not only does it fit my budget, but it has features that I was'nt sure I could afford.


Things like a carport, a back porch with a doghouse for L'il Bear, an antenna for wireless blogging, the list goes on. While it does'nt have a washer/dryer, it does have a galvanized washtub that, after doing my laundry, instead of wasting the water, I can wash the dog.

For recreation, you'll notice it comes with a tennis racket, not to mention a hubcap to play Frisbee with L'il Bear.

I've made an offer, which was accepted, on one condition. Apparently there are 4 extended family members that come with it, but I'm holding out for just the banjo player. Deliverance of the unit is optional. Stay tuned.

Trucker Bob blogged at 12:46 PM

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Morning folks. You guys never cease to amaze me. After hitting a little bump in the road on Saturday that took the spirit out of me a bit, I was'nt going to post anything yesterday. But as I thought about it I realized that just because my feathers got ruffled a bit, that was no reason to not show up and at least say Hi to show that indeed I do appreciate the support you give me. I'm sure glad I did because it was a great day, lot's of comments, fun, and good feelings.

I'm sure that people blog for as many reasons as there are blogs. For me it is almost therapeutic, in that it helped me make the transition from a full, busy life, to one of forced retirement. It also opened a new world to me, full of so many different things, and people, and that brings me right back to the start. You guys are the best! Being a current affairs junkie I spend far more time on those types of sites than I do on personal blogs, but, please, don't think for a minute that I don't get around to your pages. I'll admit I have'nt been commenting much lately, but this answering your comments here is working for me as far as staying in touch.

Speaking of comments, Big Dave took a little tease at me about not doing much Bush-Whacking lately. Even though this is pretty mild, because you're a friend, here's a little something.

Booper has an early appointment this morning, so a quick shower, pick her up, and off we go. Hope that they have my meds at the Pharmacy for me today, it's been approved, but until they're in my hand I'm still on edge about it.

Because I mention her so much I thought it would be nice to show you guys a picture of Booper (Betty), and surprisingly she agreed. I've ordered in a tanker load of mascara, a pail of blush, some rollers, and a contractor that says he can have the job done in a few days. Seriously, I'd be proud to show you the person that keeps this family together. Hell, putting up with me is reason enough for recognition.

See ya later today. Now go do something that will make me proud of you.

Trucker Bob blogged at 4:31 AM

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Sunday, January 22, 2006

Morning folks. Well, here we are on Sunday with L'il Bear assuming the position again. Like I said before, this boy knows how to seriously relax.

It was a good week, all in all, with but one little blip. Booper had 5 radiation treatments, and is really doing well. I was concerned about how they would affect her, but I need'nt have. I've been around her long enough (46 yrs) to know when she's faking it, but she's looking and feeling good.

For those that did'nt catch it in the comments, I hit the jackpot this week. I got a call from the specialist's office late Friday with the news that the Cancer Agency is going to cover my medication. What a relief, in so many ways. Plop plop, fizz fizz!

Have a decent week guys. For me it will be more driving Booper to her treatments (gladly), getting my medication (whew!), and continuing with my plans for the big trip. All things to look forward to, finally.

Trucker Bob blogged at 4:25 AM

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Saturday, January 21, 2006

Trucker Bob blogged at 4:12 AM

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Friday, January 20, 2006

I was just going to put up a picture of The Perfect Female, but I get the impression, judging by her comment, that Kate wants to see a couple of members of my crack investigative team. Being one to please, here you go Kate!

I've removed this picture because it was in poor taste. I'm sorry for any offense it may have caused. As life is a learning experience, I often wonder if I'll ever get to the top of the curve.

Now for the guys in the crowd, here she is, The Perfect Female.



Trucker Bob blogged at 12:18 PM

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Morning folks. So how are things up at your end of the melon patch? I hope you're dryer than I am, because we're back into the monsoons again. After 27 straight days of rain we got a 5 second break (it seemed), and back into it. Good night nurse! Coming back from the Cancer Clinic last night with Boop you could'nt see the lines on the road, the wipers could'nt keep up, and I'm positive everyone out there was drunk, the way they were driving.

It seems we just got back, and guess what, I've got to take her back in, in two hours. Yep, still raining. I told her that after 6 weeks of this I'm going to file for a divorce. Ever the sharp one, she pointed out that we've been divorced for 18 years. Drat! I'll have to come up with something, I know what, I'll "cut her off". Wait, that's already happened. Damn, I'm doomed!

While in there last night I did get to talk with a fellow at the Pharmacy about my situation. He apologized for the way I was talked to on Tuesday, assured me that would never happen again, but alas, still no decision. Without saying so, he hinted that the delay lies with the specialist not providing all of the many needed forms. Meanwhile, I've got to cough up another $685.00.

The look-see at the Ambassador yesterday went well. Because of the weather I did'nt do the coveralls test, but I don't believe there are any negatives. These fellows were much more open to deal with, in fact we got along great. Still, I've got to get the meds, and the fuel cost thingys settled in my mind before I get much more serious. I shopped around for a place to store it and the cheapest for a decent spot was $150/month, plus insurance. The beat goes on!

On Monday I posted a picture of the Perfect Male....Horny, but Sensitive. After much research I've found a picture of the Perfect Female, and will post it this afternoon. Once again, with the help of my crack investigative team, I'm able to show how seriously I take my work here.

Now, go forth, and if you can, multiply. Or practice!

Trucker Bob blogged at 5:46 AM

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Thursday, January 19, 2006

So here I am sitting and thinking that I have'nt heard from one of my main squeezes lately, namely The Goob, when Jeeves shows up and announces "You have mail, suh". When I see who the sender is I think, aha, she's trying to get back into my good books after failing to send my 5 gallon jug of Polish Wodka. But noooo, she's showing me her new dish-washer! Well la-dee-da.



Trucker Bob blogged at 2:19 PM

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Morning folks. Just popped in for a quick hey-howdy. Not much going on, sort of all quiet on the western front. Booper's appt. is'nt until 5 pm today, so I'm going to go and have a look at that Ambassador motor-home this morning. Funny how the rising price of fuel is taking the gung-ho-ness out of me. I paid $4.40 a gallon yesterday, and with Smirky McSwagger rattling sabers at Iran to take the heat off his corrupt cabal, we know what's coming.

I'm almost certain that fuel (gas or diesel) will be at least $6 in the North this summer, and with a vehicle getting 8 or 9 miles per gallon, well, do the math. I had planned 6000 miles over 4 months, but like I've told my sons many times, there is a big difference between having the money to buy something and being able to afford it. No wonder there are a gazillion of these things for sale.

At any rate I'm going to have to hold off on a final decision until this issue over my meds is resolved. If I end up having to pay for them myself ($14,600/yr) it won't much matter what fuel costs. I'm just so thankful that I have options, because many people don't have that luxury.

I've done a little homework, and found a unit that will still allow me to travel even if I have to pay for the meds. It does'nt have all of the amenities that I'd like, but fuel costs would'nt be a big concern. I figure I could just stop where the grass is long, re-fuel, and off we go.

Have a decent day, and BEHAVE!

Trucker Bob blogged at 4:40 AM

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Wednesday, January 18, 2006

The poor thing. If only she had looked over, she would have seen that I've been here all along, sitting In The Driver's Seat. Hell, I even had Li'l Bear for whatever that was on the end of the leash.

Trucker Bob blogged at 12:31 PM

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Morning folks. Since I've already mentioned how impressed I am with the g-man's site, especially one of the many features there, I might as well finish the sucking-up process by urging you guys to check it out.

When you go there, the site will open to a great picture of his, and along the bottom are 11 options to click open to start your visit. Do yourself a favor and look at all of them, because anyone that does that much great work on a page has earned an audience.

One of the features I love, and want to do here, is his Link Page. Providing a short description of a site is light years ahead of simply putting a word on a blogroll. By him doing the work, you can pick and choose which sites to look at according to your tastes.

Don't get me started on his Photography page. Also his...aww what the heck, it's all great!

The above endorsement was provided by the Help The Ol' Dude Spruce Up His Page Committee.

On the home front things are fine, sort of. Still no decision on having my meds covered. Grrr! On Monday I was treated so well by the fellow at the Cancer Agency Pharmacy, but yesterday I had to deal with a different person, and it was so hard not to reach out and "touch" someone. Don't accuse me of being prejudiced, but being told by a Chinese woman, who could barely speak English, not to keep bothering them, is a bit much for me to handle. So today when I take Booper in I think I'll try to go up the ladder a couple of rungs.

I talked to Vickie last night, and she's back home. I'll let her tell you how things went, but I will say that she needs your support. Especially those with their own issues, because like me, we all have our own Timmys and Missys.

Because of Booper's varied appointment times I won't get to check out the latest candidate for Cookie Monster until tomorrow. Also did'nt get my shot or have my physical yesterday because I pulled a muscle (not that one!) in my leg, but that's another story.

Take care of yourselves. Probably see ya later today.

Trucker Bob blogged at 4:14 AM

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Tuesday, January 17, 2006

In response to the many requests to see more of me than the head and shoulders shot, I've decided to show a bit more. Any further pictures will not be for the squeamish. Neigh!



Trucker Bob blogged at 2:07 PM

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Morning folks. I had a ton o' things to natter about today, but have decided to just pop in and tell you that everything is fine with me and mine. I want to give those things their proper due, so I'll work on them a bit, save them in Draft, and post when ready.

The fact is a lot of things are happening on here that please me to no end, and a few things that, excuse my French, piss me off! In the latter category, Hoss was robbed. Screwed, blued, and tattoed! He is a master in his genre. Another example of not being part of the "in" crowd, is Brian. Nuff said for now. Oops, sorry, I'm referring to the BoB awards. To be sure there will be those that disagree with me, but keep in mind that this is my page, and as long as it is in reasonably good taste, I can voice any opinion I have.

The other things are all good, in fact very good. It took me a while to find my "niche", if you will, but this pattern I seem to have fallen into of putting up what I call a "text post" in the morning, and goof around with a picture post in the afternoon is working for me. The good-natured teasing via comments is a pleasure for me. Like most people, I had to be serious most of my life, but now it's fun time.

You'd better make sure your site is all spiffed up g-man, because you're about to get a glowing endorsement. People will be urged, in no uncertain terms (as in grievous bodily injury for failure to do so) to visit, because, frankly, you're good.

On a side note, I just talked to Vickie. She is on her way to see the neurologist in Augusta, and if anything happens to keep her there she'll let me know, and I'll pass it on here. Wish her well folks, she's not having a good time.

Guess that's enough nattering to qualify as a post. Booper's radiation treatment went well yesterday, and I'll be taking her in earlier for today's. Be nice if it was the same time each day. Oh well. Hopefully I'll get an answer from the Pharmacy there today on my medication, because frankly, the suspense, and expense, is killing me. If I have time when we get back I'll go for another "shot", and while there have my physical for my Class 1 licence.

Might see ya later today, if not, in the morning.

Trucker Bob blogged at 6:55 AM

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Monday, January 16, 2006

Because you heifers out there seem to get some sort of perverted pleasure out of teasing me(and I love it!), there is something I should point out to you. Although I am big enough to burn diesel, I do have feelings. In fact this photo pretty well sums me up.

I can't wait to read the comments on this one! They've moved Booper's appointment up, so I have to run, so have at me!

Trucker Bob blogged at 11:38 AM

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This should click/enlarge. To tell the truth I like the looks of this one better, let's hope it passes the cover-alls test. I won't go into price etc. until I check it out. Bear with me folks, I'll find the right one!

I'll be back later today with something for you ladies that take great delight in teasing me. Don't go scurrying off, we all know who you are. Don't make me name names. (Insert monster smiley here!)

Trucker Bob blogged at 3:57 AM

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Sunday, January 15, 2006

Morning folks. Li'l Bear and I are taking the day off. Hope your week-end is going well, and I'll see you tomorrow.

Trucker Bob blogged at 4:12 AM

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Saturday, January 14, 2006

Morning folks. Today's submissions are by Karen:

Words Women Use

Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five
minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means "something", and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing", usually end in "fine".

Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT!

Loud Sigh: Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "nothing".

That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means she wants you to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks: This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you, don't question it, just say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly.

Jude:

Redneck Medical Terms

Artery......................The study of paintings.
Benign......................What you be after you be eight.
Bacteria....................Back door to cafeteria.
Barium......................What doctors do when patients die.
Cesarean Section............A neighborhood in Rome.
Catscan.....................Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize...................Made eye contact with her.
Colic.......................A sheep dog.
Coma........................A punctuation mark.
D&C.........................Where Washington is.
Dilate......................To live long.
Enema.......................Not a friend.
Fester......................Quicker than someone else.
Fibula......................A small lie.
Genital.....................Non-Jewish person.
G.I.Series..................World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail....................What you hang your coat on.
Impotent....................Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain..................Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff...............A Doctor's cane.
Morbid......................A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates....................Cheaper than day rates.
Node........................I knew it.
Outpatient..................A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear...................A fatherhood test.
Pelvis......................Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative..............A letter carrier.
Recovery Room...............Place to do upholstery.
Rectum......................Darn near killed him.
Secretion...................Hiding something
Seizure.....................Roman emperor.
Tablet......................A small table.
Terminal Illness............Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor.......................More than one.
Urine.......................Opposite of you're out
Varicose....................Near by

And last, but not least, Peter:

SIXTEEN REASONS WHY ALCOHOL SHOULD BE SERVED AT WORK..

1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It leads to more honest communications.
3. It reduces complaints about low pay.
4. Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to hear.
5. It encourages car pooling.
6. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care
7. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
8. It makes fellow employees look better.
9. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
10. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
11. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
12. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.
13. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
14. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.
15. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
16. Sitting "Bare Butt" on the copy machine will no longer be seen as "gross".


Have a decent day guys, I've got to go and answer some comments left by a couple of the "girls" that got to teasing me last night. This will not be pretty.

Trucker Bob blogged at 4:09 AM

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Friday, January 13, 2006

Well folks, I've got good news and gooder news. First, my offer, subject to a couple of things I wanted done, was accepted. Secondly, the bank has let me decide how much to put down, and they'll put the rest up for prime + 1. Now it's time to poop or get off the pot. Hand me the paper, because I'm going for it! The only thing that will make the deal go side-ways if if they don't do the things I wanted done by next week. They're wanting to sell, and I'm willing to buy, so the ball is in their court.

Since the name of this blog is In The Driver's Seat, I thought I'd show you the one in the Cookie Monster. The white is all real leather, not vinyl, and the trim is real wood. The little screen on the dash is so that you can see what you just bumped into. Power the seat back, pull the wheel down, and I'm where I belong. Is that Willy I hear in the background? On The Road Again.



Trucker Bob blogged at 2:32 PM

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Morning folks. What a treat to be able to have a few positive things to talk about instead of the usual health-related issues. They are what they are, but can't be allowed to control my life.

I took steps yesterday to have my Class 1 licence re-instated. Went to the Motor Vehicle Branch and was given a form to take to the doctor. Give him $120 (rip-off) to fill it out, bring it back to them, and bada-bing, bada-boom. I don't intend to go back trucking, but it will feel right to have it back. The only reason I surrendered it in the first place was because I was taking pain-killers, but since I don't take them anymore, it's time to get it back.

Next up is some news that is almost like winning the lottery. I heard from the specialist, and he tells me that the Cancer Agency has all my forms and that he is sure they are going to cover my medication for the tumor. I talked with them and was told that a decision would be made soon, but that they did'nt see any problem. Whew! $14,600 a year, for 10 years (I hope), you do the math. What a relief! I know it's not set in stone yet, but I'm optimistic.

Now for the fun part. I think I may have found my Cookie Monster. I spent some time looking at it yesterday, talked to my bud Ralphy about it last night, and am going to make an offer of 75K for it today. Ralphy says that if I get it for that I did'nt buy it, I stole it. It's a '96 Holiday Rambler, which is a very high-end unit. The quality in this thing is something else. Things like solid wood cabinets/closets, washer/dryer, aww, there's too much to list here. It's a 37-footer, very low mileage, exceptionally clean, etc. etc. I have a copy of all the maintenance records since new. For the guys, it has a 300HP Cummins with Jake Brakes, 6-speed electronic shift Allison automatic transmission, 7.5KW generator, full air suspension, etc etc. Here are a couple of pictures, with more to come if my offer is accepted.






These should click open. Be still my heart!

Trucker Bob blogged at 3:35 AM

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Thursday, January 12, 2006

Sorry for being a bit late this afternoon, but I stopped at the gym to buff up a bit.



Trucker Bob blogged at 3:19 PM

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Morning folks. We finally got the schedule for Booper's radiation treatments. Starting Friday, I'll be driving her in to the clinic every week-day morning for 6 weeks. YIKES! I'm glad to be able to help, but I'm concerned about that much radiation. I'm sure they know what they're doing but, damn, she'll be so full of that stuff she'll glow in the dark.

Instead of shopping around for a Class A motor-home, I might have to start building an ark. We have had rain for 24 days straight, with no end in sight. If we make it till Sunday, it will break a 53 year record. No wonder people like to tease us about living on the "Wet" Coast. Enough already, squish, squish.

I once followed a vehicle down the road that had a bumper-sticker that read "I've lost a lot of things in my life, and the thing I miss the most is my mind". I laughed at the time, but not now, because I'm living that saying.

I am on my third coffee machine in 1 1/2 weeks. The first one I wrecked by giving it one of my patented "cleanings". Somehow I dislodged a hose inside the darn thing that made it **ss water all over the place. A shame really, because it was a great machine, albeit a bit fancy.

So, off to the mall, buy a new machine that worked great for 4 days. Made a small pot, sat at the 'puter, and listened to the sound of the carafe cracking. That's right, forgot to put water in it! Went back to the store to buy a new carafe, you know where this is going. No carafe!

Buy another machine. I managed to build a pot this morning without any disasters..yet. I'm looking over at it now wondering how I'll wreck this one. Maybe I should see if they have a volume discount on these things. Dumb-ass!

Have a decent day guys. Probably see you later today.

Trucker Bob blogged at 4:57 AM

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Wednesday, January 11, 2006

I'm often taken to task for being far too irreverant towards Preznint Smirky McSwagger, so to be fair, I just listened to him explaining his Iraq withdrawal strategery. Sheer brilliance!



Trucker Bob blogged at 12:53 PM

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Morning folks. On behalf of Christopher I'd like to thank you for the compliments yesterday. Although I could'nt see it, I could sense the blushing smile from his voice. When I told him of the fun I've been having with the ladies, the Cookie Monster, etc., he asked if I needed a co-driver. Down boy, down, it's Grandpa's turn!

Other than providing a link on my blogroll, there was a time when I would single out a site and urge people to visit them. As is usual with me I sometimes went overboard with the praise as later events proved. Being a somewhat idealistic person it hurt a bit to realize that things are not always what I perceive them, or want them, to be. Eventually I just stopped doing it. Today I'm going to relent, for a couple of reasons.

First I'd like you to go over to Big Dave's and look at the great post/exercise he has put up about finding yourself in blogland. This took a lot of thought and time on his part, and deserves to be seen. Dave is a friend of this page, that I appreciate. Please believe me, the fact I am mentioned has nothing to do with this, it is just a neat exercise.

Secondly, I'd like you to stop by Tracy's and let her know that she has friends that care. I'll let her post tell you of the situation, but when you read it you'll feel her sorrow. Tracy is a genuine friend of this page, and it hurts me to see her hurting.

Have a decent day guys, and for the masochists, I'll be back later.

Trucker Bob blogged at 3:21 AM

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Tuesday, January 10, 2006

The guys that stop by here sometimes remark about the number of ladies that comment. I'm sure it's just good-natured teasing, and I enjoy it, but I want them to know that while I don't actively chase the girls, I can't seem to escape them. (Not that I'd want to)

For example, I went to the store just now to buy some fresh vegetables. See what I mean? It's a curse I tell you.



Trucker Bob blogged at 1:22 PM

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Morning folks. What makes a man, me, sit at the computer at this time of the day almost having a brain cramp trying to think of something to say? I think it's a sign that I need to get my butt back out where I belong, on the road. I've learned to live with Timmy, so I can't use him as an excuse anymore. Once I get the few things on my plate cleared up, it will be time to get serious.

Because the first place I'm going is well inside the Arctic Circle, the weather is a big factor on when I leave. If I get going by late May, early June, it will be about right. By the time Booper is finished her treatments, and I go back to visit my sister, we'll be into March. Then I can seriously start the many, many things I'll have to do, so the timing is about right. Just have to be careful to not get impatient, which is easier said than done with me.

Now, with your permission, I'd like to introduce you to the youngest member of my butt-whuppin' posse, and also indulge in a little grandfatherly pride. This is my grandson Chris(topher). He is 16 years old, stands 6'1", and weighs 240 lbs. Besides football, he is into weight-lifting, endurance events, and pretty well every other sport, while maintaining good grades. I'm sorry it's not a "live" picture, but one I took here from a card they all got upon winning the championship. Because he lives in Drumheller, Alberta, I don't get to see him much, but that will be changing soon.

Once again I apologize for the picture, but I just wanted to share it with you. It won't be long before I can share "live" pictures of all kinds. Have a decent day folks, and thanks for stopping by.

Trucker Bob blogged at 3:25 AM

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Monday, January 09, 2006

Once word got out that I was taking a puppy with me on the trip, this little fella showed up. He says he's not letting go until I agree to take him too. Oh, what the heck, come on.

Trucker Bob blogged at 12:23 PM

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Morning folks, or should I say fellow cat lovers, wink wink, nudge nudge. I must admit, that was a bit of fun, hell it even got a "rise" out of ol' Hoss. Just goes to prove that even though there's a little snow on the roof, it does'nt mean the fire is out in the kitchen. Right Peter?

This week, on Thursday, Booper begins her radiation treatments. I'll be driving her in every morning for 15-17 days. Not only does it give me something to do, but I can offer what support I can while she's going through this. Along with this she is also dealing with the fact that her sister is seriously ill. It's not looking good.

I had planned to drive back to Ontario to visit my sister once this was done, but now that's on hold. I might end up flying back because I got a call from her telling me that the cancer has shown up again. She just went through a horrible experience with a restricted bowel, all tied in with the cancer. It's certainly not dinner table conversation, but when the bowel contents can't go one way, they come up the other way. I shuddered when I found out what she went through.

I almost feel guilty mentioning that my plans for the big trip are progressing well, but they will be secondary until we get through this stuff. I also had to pay for my prescription yesterday which is not doing my disposition any good. Just think, if the dosage remains the same, I'm looking at $14,600 a year. No wonder I like to goof around, because this blankety-blank medical stuff will get you down if you let it.

Okay, enough whining. Think I'll head out to the ranch, and "relax" a while.



Trucker Bob blogged at 4:09 AM

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Sunday, January 08, 2006

Morning folks. Since Sunday is traditionally a day of rest, I thought I'd find a picture that would fit the occasion. So, from now on, li'l Bear will be my Sunday image, just as the laughers and chortlers are of my Saturday Chuckles. Also, since I'm going off on a 2-3 year motor-home dream trip to escape the stress that seems to be filling my life lately, the little guy is going to be my mascot. I mean, this boy can seriously relax! Oh, did I mention he really likes...COOKIES?

I thought about using this fellow but realized he'd be of more use to me as a foot-warmer. Yes, this is a real dog.



While I'm sure the dogs will get along fine with each other, I decided to bring along a kitten so that they can all GROW together.

Damn, this is SHAPING UP to be a helluva trip! Don't mind me folks, I'm just goofing around, and enjoying every minute of it. If anyone is offended, what can I say, the devil made me do it.

Trucker Bob blogged at 3:59 AM

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Saturday, January 07, 2006

A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster, one that would service all of his many hens. When he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied: "I have just the rooster for you. Henry here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!"

So the farmer took Henry back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the hen house, though, he gave Henry a little pep talk: "Henry", he said, "I'm counting on you to do your stuff". And without a word, Henry strutted into the henhouse.

Henry was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, until Henry had finished having his way with each hen. But Henry did'nt stop there.

Henry went into the barn and mounted all of the horses, one by one, and still at the same frantic pace. Then he went to the pig house, where he did the same. The farmer, watching all of this with disbelief cried out, "Stop, Henry!! You'll kill yourself!!"

But Henry continued, seeking out each farm animal in the same manner.

Well, the next morning, the farmer looked out and saw Henry lying there on his lawn. His legs were up in the air, his eyes rolled back, and his long tongue hanging out. A buzzard was already circling above Henry. The farmer walked up to Henry saying, "Oh you poor thing, look what you did, you've gone and killed yourself. I warned you little buddy".

"Shhhhhhh," Henry whispered, "The buzzard's getting closer."



A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to one of those big "everything under one roof" stores looking for a job. The manager asked, "Do you have any sales experience?"

The kid said, "Sure, I was a salesman back home in Texas."

The boss liked the kid so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down to see how things went.

"How many sales did you make today?"

The young man replied without hesitating, "One."

The boss said, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?"

The kid said, "$101,237.64."

The boss said, "$101,237.64?! What the hell did you sell?!"

The kid said, "First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin-engine Chris Craft. Then he said he did'nt think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Blazer."

Amazed, the boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a truck?"

"No, he came here to buy a box of tampons for his wife and I said, 'Well, your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing.'"


A beautiful young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young sailor stopped her.

"You have so much to live for," said the sailor. "Look, I'm off to Europe tomorrow and I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."

With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Europe, the woman accepted. That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches and make love to her until dawn.

Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.

"What are you doing here?" asked the captain.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings me food and I get a free trip to Europe. Plus he's screwing me."

"He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Staten Island Ferry."

Trucker Bob blogged at 3:35 AM

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Friday, January 06, 2006

FINALLY! ONE I CAN KEEP.

In the year 2006 I resolve to: Fart in public. Get your resolution here

Thanks to Goober.

Trucker Bob blogged at 12:18 PM

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Morning folks. When I told of my plans yesterday, I mentioned that one of the reasons I was making such a drastic life change was to eliminate a lot of stress, such as that in dealing with our health-care system. Before I get to the point of this post, I'll give you an example of what I'm talking about.

The one medication I get relief from they won't prescribe, no matter who pays for it, because it is habit-forming. Fair enough, sort of, you'll see in a minute. The outrageously priced medication that I need to survive, literally, they won't pay for, even though they were, and that I'm entitled to as a senior on limited income. Now read this:

The North American Opiate Medication Initiative, NAOMI, is offering hundreds of junkies (their word) the chance to join a research study that provides free heroin. Scientists want to know if hard-core addicts can live more healthy and productive lives with free, measured doses of heroin, a drug that is not harmful to the body.

B.C.'s Medical Health Officer, Perry Kendall, says that heroin, if used on a maintenance basis, is actually a very safe drug. He also says that heroin use does'nt knock years off people's lives. The article goes on yada, yada, yada, but I think you see the point I'm making.

They won't prescribe the drug I need to keep from screaming at times, and they won't pay for the drug I need to keep the tumor from growing, thus killing me, but if I was a junkie I'd be walking around with a grin on my face like a sheep that just took a shit in tall grass.

50 years I worked and paid taxes, medical premiums etc., and we're down to this. I prided myself over the years for just sucking it up and working through the aches and pains without so much as an aspirin, and now when I desperately need it, I'm told you're on your own.

Well, I'm going to maintain my pride, no more begging! I'll pay for the damn stuff as long as I can, but in the meantime I'm going back out on the road. Maybe one day I'll drive the Cookie Monster to the top of a mountain, get out, and in the loudest voice I can, holler "Y'all can kiss my ass"!!!

Trucker Bob blogged at 4:10 AM

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Thursday, January 05, 2006

Well, don't believe them, because I'm doing plumb fine. Once in a while, when I get tired of rasslin' with Timmy, I let my mind wander back to better times, like this:

or this:

It does'nt take me long to chase the blues away by realizing what a great life I had. Not many people get to live their dreams, and to those who were so lucky I say, how dare you let yourself get down.

When I say "had", I don't for one minute mean that in the literal sense. Fact is I'm in the process of making plans for a major life change. It's time I went back to where I'm the happiest, on the road. I had always dreamt of spending my summers in the Yukon, and my winters down south, and I'm going to make it happen.

I'm going to sell out here, lock, stock, and barrel. Buy a big ol' motor-home, nick-named The Cookie Monster, and spend what time I have left travelling. I will probably last twice as long as I would staying the course I'm on now. If Timmy does'nt put me down, the stress will, and I'm going to eliminate the stress. This will take time, because there is lot's to do, but the die is cast.

I'll keep you up-dated, but in fact when I finally leave this blog is coming with me. You're not getting rid of me that easily. See you all later. Oh hell, why not...see y'all later, eh?

Trucker Bob blogged at 5:25 AM

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Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Morning folks. I'm a little slow on the draw this morning, partly because you-know-who is kicking my butt again, but mainly because of your comments yesterday. When I mentioned how recruiting practices had devolved to the state they now seem to be in, it struck a nerve with some of you.

When I fired up a bit ago, and read your comments, I realized my usual irreverant way of answering would be very inappropriate. While I enjoy goofing around, and playing with the ladies, this is far too serious for that. I am going to answer each comment with the respect they are due. Of course there are some that will allow me "play", so all is not lost.

As for Timmy kicking my butt, I hope he enjoys it, because when he's done he can kiss it! I'll get through this one as I have all the others. The stress imposed by the government refusing to pay for my medication is probably what is causing this latest bout, because I just don't handle it well anymore. Frankly, I'm sick of it, in more ways than one.

Thanks for providing some incentive this morning, but then again, you guys do it for me all the time. Maybe I should seriously consider winning the lottery, so that I can get us all together for a big ol' group hug. In the meantime this will have to do ...... THANKS!

Trucker Bob blogged at 4:54 AM

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Tuesday, January 03, 2006

I always wondered about little Harry. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Trucker Bob blogged at 1:28 PM

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Morning folks. I got "tagged" yesterday by Goober to write Five Weird Things About Me. Normally this would barely rate a "yeah right"! before being dispatched to the circular file, but since she is one of my main squeezes, I'll put some thought into it and do what I can. I'm reminded of the old song with the words, "Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble, when you're perfect in ev-er-ry way", but I'm sure if I concentrate I'll be able to think of something. (insert giant BS icon here)

I just read something in the paper that makes me shake my head. If the cause is so noble, why do they have to resort to this kind of thing to recruit young people? Shameful, especially when you consider the eventual fate of some of them. This is the article as it appeared:

The US Army National Guard thinks it has cooked up the right potion to cure it's recruiting dilemma...a load of pizza, a heaping helping of a NASCAR racing team, a dash of free MP3 downloads and video games, plus some cash incentives. Recruiting boss Lt. Col. Mike Jones said that reaching the intended recipients (victims, my word) in college towns through the campaign is cost effective and leaves an impression.

I was going to run on a bit here, but I believe the point has been made. As a father and grandfather, this bothers the hell out of me.

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

Trucker Bob blogged at 3:21 AM

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Monday, January 02, 2006

Don't mind me folks, just doing a little day-dreaming. Be still my heart!

Trucker Bob blogged at 3:27 PM

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Morning folks. With this being the first real post of the year, I thought it would be nice to put one up that would serve as a stellar example of what blogging is all about. A standard-bearer, if you will. I also thought it would be nice to find a cure for cancer, solve all the world's ills, and win the lottery. I've got a little tweaking to do yet, so in the interim it will be more of the same ol', same ol'.

New Years was quiet around here, in fact I've never been one for forced celebrations. Why wait for a special occasion to make an ass of yourself, that can be done at any time. I don't even bother trying to stay up to watch the countdown, because it will be played ad nauseum the next day. Yeah, I know, a tad Grinchy.

This past year, through this blog, I have been exposed (not that way, pervert!) to so many new people. It has been a learning experience, but an oh so positive one. Just to be accepted for who I am, without having to continually prove myself is a wonderful thing. It was tough having to come off the road, but you guys have made it a much easier transition, and for that I thank you!

I seem to have found a niche with my goofing around and wink, wink, nudge, nudging. Once in a while I can get serious, or engage in a little Bush-Whacking, but in the main I like the direction I'm going. I'll leave the heavy stuff to others.

I sincerely hope that this coming year unfolds exactly the way you guys want it to. There will be some bumps and grinds, I'm sure, but overall we're doing pretty good.

Now, go out there and make me proud of you. Probably see you later today.

Trucker Bob blogged at 3:09 AM

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Sunday, January 01, 2006

As you slide down the banisters of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.

Trucker Bob blogged at 3:06 AM

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