The following guffaws, chortles, and yuck-yucks, are compliments of Jim Nicholson. He is one of the fellows from my long ago Army days, and who is also in the picture I put up. I'd point him out to you but he is just too butt-ugly for me to do that. Is he smiling?

CANADA PENSION

Having reached the age of 62, I went to apply for Canada Pension last week. After waiting in line for a very long time, I finally got to the counter.

The woman there asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized, to my great dismay, that I had left my wallet on the nightstand in my bedroom. I told the lady that I was very sorry, but I seemed to have left my wallet at home."I'll have to go get it and come back later," I said.

At that point, she said to me, "Unbutton your shirt." I was confused, but I opened my shirt, revealing lots of curly silver hair. She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me,"and, with that, she promptly processed my application.

When I got home, I couldn't wait to tell my wife about my experience at the Canada Pension Office. She listened to the whole story and then said, "You should have dropped your pants, you might have gotten disability, too."

RAIN AND THE CHILDREN

There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby, so he went to the congregation and asked for a raise. After much consideration and discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck.

After 6 children, this started to get expensive so the Congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's salary. There was much yelling and bickering about how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church.

Finally, the Preacher got up and spoke to the crowd, "Children are a gift from God," he said. Silence fell on the congregation. In the back of the room, a little old lady stood up and in her frail voice said, "Rain is also a gift from God.........but when we get too much, we wear rubbers". And the congregation said, "Amen."

MEDICAL BREAKTHOUGH

A British company is developing computer chips which store and play music, to be implanted in women's breasts.

This is viewed as a major breakthrough as, up until now, women have complained that men were just staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

Thanks Jim. (second row from bottom, second in from left side of picture)