Saturday, July 29, 2006
A trucker who has been on the road for three weeks stops into a brothel outside Vegas. He walks straight up to the madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a bologna sandwich!" The madam is astonished. "But, sir, for that kind of money, you could have one of my finest ladies and a three-course meal." The trucker replies, "Listen sweetheart, I ain't horny, I'm homesick."
A woman was in the kitchen doing the boiled eggs for breakfast. Her husband walks in and she says, "You've got to make love to me this very moment." The husband, thinking it's his lucky day, makes love to her on the kitchen table. Afterward he says, "What was that all about?" She says, "The egg timer's broken!"
A man went to the dentist because his tooth was hurting. The dentist told him after the examination that he needed a root canal. The man replied, "O.K. lets do it." The dentist told him he will feel a pinch when he gives him the shot of the numbing agent. The man says, "No, Doc, I am allergic to that." The doctor tells him, "O.K., then, we'll give you nitrous oxide." The man says, "I am allergic to the gas." So, then the doctor gives him two pills with a glass of water and the man takes it. The doctor comes back in 10 minutes and the man says, "Doc, will those two blue pills kill the pain?" The doctor replies, "No, that was Viagra." The man says, "Viagra? I don't need that! What's that going to do for me?" The doctor replies, "Well, it'll give you something to hang onto."
A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist. She walked into his office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't have any friends, no man will come near me and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?" "I'm sure I can," the psychiatrist replied. "Just go over and lie face down on that couch, and we'll get started.
And finally, one for my bud Peter, the rascal.
Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: It's the same as a French kiss, but "down under."
Trucker Bob blogged at 4:41 AM