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Saturday, August 19, 2006

Saturday Chuckles

Sorry about the missing image, but Blogger won't load it, or any for that matter. Oh well, no biggie.

Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.

A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"

Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
Thanks to Jude

Q: How can you tell if a man is well-hung?
A: When you can barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

Two elderly men were having a conversation about sex. Elmer says, "Yes, I did it three times last night with a 30-year-old!" Leon replies, "You're kidding! I can't even manage to do it once. What's your secret?" Elmer said, "Well, the secret is to eat lots of whole wheat bread. I'm not kidding!" So, the second old man rushed to the store. The clerk asks the old man, "May I help you?" "Yes, I'd like four loaves of whole wheat bread, please," said Leon. "That's a lot of bread. It's sure to get hard before you're done!" the clerk remarked. Leon replies, "Damn! Does everyone know about this except me?"

Women believe if a pet cat strays, it's because of a lack of affection at home, if a pet dog strays it's because of a lack of affection at home, if a woman strays, it's because of a lack of affection at home, but if a man strays, it's because men are scum.

President George W. Bush decides it is time to do some public relations at a local Washington DC nursing home. The President begins his "tour" down the main hallway and passes by a little old man who doesn’t seem to notice him. Sensing this, President Bush backtracks to the resident and asks, "Do you know who I am?" The little old man looks up from his walker and says, "No, but if you go to the front desk, they will tell you your name."

Kind of feeble, but I just wanted to make the effort.

Trucker Bob Image hosting by Photobucket blogged at 3:32 AM

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