Saturday, August 05, 2006
Wife: "Give me some money. I want to buy a bra".
Husband: "Why? You have nothing to put in it!"
Wife: "Well, you wear shorts!"
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of s**t?
A: The bucket.
Any woman that thinks the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "your sense of humor".
Q: What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A: About 45 Pounds.
Q: And between a husband and a boyfriend?
A: about 45 minutes.
Set It Free
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with. If it just sits in your room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your phone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place, you either married it or gave birth to it.
It's the first day of kindergarten, and the teacher decides to do taste association. 'I'll blindfold you and give you a lifesaver, and you tell me what flavor it is,' she tells the children. So she gives them all a cherry flavor, and says, 'What flavor is that?'
The whole class answers 'Mmmm, that's cherry.'
'Very good,' the teacher replies. So she gives them all a grape and they reply, 'Mmm, that's grape.'
'Very good,' she says again.
Then she gives them all a honey flavor. The whole class sits perplexed by the strange taste, so the teacher says 'OK, I'll give you a hint, it's something your parents might call each other.'
Billy spits his out on the floor and yells, 'Spit 'em out everyone, they're A**HOLES!'
Trucker Bob blogged at 3:52 AM