Saturday, February 17, 2007

THREE COWBOYS ARE SITTING AROUND THE CAMPFIRE OUT ON THE LONESOME PRAIRIE, EACH WITH THE BRAVADO FOR WHICH HE IS FAMOUS.

The GUY FROM MONTANA SAYS, "I MUST BE THE STRONGEST, MEANEST, TOUGHEST COWBOY THERE IS. WHY, JUST THE OTHER DAY, A BULL GOT LOOSE IN THE CORRAL.. IT HAD GORED SIX MEN BEFORE I WRESTLED IT TO THE GROUND BY THE HORNS WITH MY BARE HANDS AND CASTRATED THAT SUCKER WITH MY TEETH."

THE GUY FROM TEXAS COULDN'T STAND TO BE BESTED. THAT'S NOTHING, "I WAS WALKING DOWN THE TRAIL YESTERDAY AND A FIFTEEN FOOT DIAMONDBACK RATTLER SLID OUT FROM UNDER A ROCK AND MADE A MOVE FOR ME. I GRABBED THAT SLITHERING SERPENT WITH MY BARE HANDS, BIT IT'S HEAD OFF AND SUCKED THE POISON DOWN IN ONE GULP AND I'M STILL HERE TODAY."

THE COWBOY FROM ALBERTA REMAINED SILENT, SLOWLY STIRRING THE CAMPFIRE COALS WITH HIS PECKER.

Medicare Health Insurance, in a nutshell:

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello."

"Mrs. Ward, please."

"Speaking"

"Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from another Mr. Ward arrived as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your husband's. Frankly the results are either bad or terrible."

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Ward asks nervously.

"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which your husband's is."

"That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Ward.

"Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time."

"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"

"The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him."

Laundry

A woman was unhappy with the way her laundry was done at the local Chinese Laundry, so she wrote a note and put it in the bag with the next collection of soiled clothes

"USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!"

She got the clean laundry back, and was still dissatisfied with the results, so the following week she enclosed another note:

"USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!"

The Chinese laundryman became very annoyed, and when her clean laundry was delivered, it contained a note from him:

"I USE PLENTY SOAP ON PANTIES!!! USE MORE PAPER ON ASS!!"
Thanks to Jim Nicholson (all3)

Trucker Bob blogged at 5:41 AM

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