Saturday, April 07, 2007
A man and a woman were driving down the road and arguing about his deplorable infidelity when suddenly the woman reaches over and slices the man's penis off. Angrily, she tosses it out the car window.
Driving behind the couple is a man and his 9-year-old daughter. The little girl is just chatting away at her father when all of a sudden the penis smacks the car on the windshield, sticks for a moment, then flies off.
Surprised, the daughter asks her father, "Daddy, what the heck was that?" Not wanting to expose his little girl to anything sexual at such a young age the father replies, "It was only a bug, honey."
The daughter sits with a confused look on her face, and after a few minutes she says "Sure had a big dick, didn't it?
Two Newfies, Archie and Harry, were driving down the road drinking a couple of beers. The passenger, Harry, suddenly said, "Lord tundering Jaisus... up ahead -- it's a police roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' dese here beers!!" Don't worry," Archie said. "We'll just pull over and finish dese beers, then peel off the label, stick it on our foreheads, and trow the bottles under the seat."
"What fer?" "Jist let me do de talkin', OK?" So they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight and put a label on each of their foreheads. When they reached the roadblock, the Police officer took a long look at the two of them and said, "You boys been drinkin'?" "No sir," said Archie, pointing at the labels. "We're on the Patch."
HAPPY HOUR in Newfoundland.
The Newfie saw the sign at the restaurant. It read.... Happy Hour Special:
Lobster Tail & Beer.
"Lard 'Tunderin' Jaises !" he says to himself, "Me tree favourite tings".
WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife-Cold As Ever'."
"Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last'."
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?" She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"
Thanks to the dynamic Alberta duo, Jim and Jude.
Trucker Bob blogged at 3:27 AM