Friday, November 30, 2007

Morning folks. Yes I know that I said I wouldn't be back until Monday, so don't yell at me, I'm sensitive. Yeah right! But Tracey said something yesterday that causes me to show up today. She mentioned how the desert can be humbling, to which I agree, but let me tell you what's really humbling.

It's not too often that I check my "hits" here, but I looked at yesterday's when I fired up this morning, and after my saying twice this week that I wouldn't be posting until Monday, you're still showing up in support. Blows me away, especially considering my lousy visiting record.

I know that I've run on about how much I appreciate you guys, but words alone can't express how I feel, but humbled comes close. There's a dynamic at work here that just, here we go again, humbles me.

I've mentioned before how the lucky ones of us in life find our niche, with me it was trucking, but I've found another one here with you guys, and I'm so very appreciative of it and you.

Don't want to get maudlin (sorry Hoss) but I feel another big ol' group grope, oops, hug, coming on. To see those numbers from yesterday makes me realize how truly fortunate I am to be a part of this blog family.

I was going to search for a goofy picture to put up, but I'll just let the words stand. Not many times things get to me like this did this morning, and I just wanted to let you know how much you're appreciated. Thank you!

Hope you all have a good weekend, meanwhile I'll head out on my trusty steed and see if I can find some pictures for Monday. See ya then.

Trucker Bob blogged at 1:51 AM

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Thursday, November 29, 2007

Morning folks. Boy, that week flew by in a hurry, seems like only Thursday. Must be that daylight savings time thingy.

Anyhoo, I so much appreciate your comments, and truth be told, I missed coming on here too, if for no other reason than to say Hi. So let's just play it by ear from now on.

Monday I went for a big ol' ride (4 1/2 hrs) by myself. I understand that there is safety in numbers but I prefer to go where I want to go, never have been much of a follower. I am always well prepared with emergency equipment, and stay constantly aware of where I am in relation to a road or wash to get me home. The worst that could happen is that I'd have a long walk if I totally broke down. Although I did something yesterday that gives lie to that, but believe me I won't be doing it again. I'll explain after the pics.

Here we are at the Tee and "Green" at the number 6 hole on the lush Quartzsite Golf and Country Club. It's quite exclusive, but I got a press pass as correspondent for In The Driver's Seat. Got such a kick out of watching the guys trying to find their balls. (No, I'm not going there) Don't forget to embiggen.


This is actually where General Patton trained. Such a sense of history as I rode around out there. Of course this shot is just a tiny piece of where he put his tanks through their paces.


Total freedom! I sat up there and just marveled at where I was and how I had got there. I thought back to the day when I was told to get my affairs in order, and it made me more determined than ever to continue this adventure I've been on. Having you guys along is just icing on the cake.


Tuesday was a Timmy day, didn't do much except go downtown to buy a new coffee machine. Had a little oopsy, forgot to put water in it the night before. Shouldn't have been a biggie because I had a new one as a spare. First time I use it the carafe cracked, and yes I had water in it. GRRR!! Didn't think I'd find one here, but did, and oddly enough it's a Proctor-Silex, the same model that I had at home and gave away.

Yesterday went for a ride and almost had a cat's-ass trophy. So close! I was riding around not too far out, and was eyeing this hill working up the nerve to try it, because it was steep. Finally gritted my tooth and went for it. Was almost to the top when I realized that I'd either have to drop a gear or give it more throttle, and being afraid it would come back over me if I shifted, I opened 'er up. Soon as I did the front wheels lifted and I dove across the handlebars, all the while reaching as far back as I could to keep the throttle open, or for sure it would have gone over backwards. Scared me so bad I wouldn't even go back down, I found another way. Talk about leaving a skid mark! Believe me, I won't be doing that again, or at least not until I do my laundry.

So there you have it guys, not sure it was worth the wait, but just wanted to let you know that all is well, even if I do act crazier than a cut cat at times. Ah well, life is for the living.

So let's try this again, see ya Monday, except of course for replies to any comments.

Trucker Bob blogged at 2:19 AM

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Sunday, November 25, 2007

Morning folks. Well, I finally got L'il Bear awake, took him outside to get some fresh air, and within minutes he had assumed the pose. Ah, what the heck, after all he is on holidays. Which brings me to my little announcement.

But first a big thank you to Judles for finding, and sending me that image. It's not only cuter than all get out, but it really does look like L'il Bear.

Because I'm an absolute news freak I spend most of my time on here monitoring what is happening in the world, to the point that I'm feeling guilty about not visiting your sites. Also, to a lesser degree, about not putting pictures and DVs up. But then I realize that just like L'il Bear up there, I too am on holidays.

So I've decided to take a break from posting daily, and instead check in every Monday morning to let you know how things are going. Nattering is fine, but after a while it becomes redundant.

You all know how much I appreciate the support you have given me so I won't run on about that. But I will say once again how proud I am to be a part of this blog family.

Take care of yourselves, and I'll see you on Monday Dec 3rd.

Trucker Bob blogged at 2:42 AM

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Saturday, November 24, 2007

Interesting Year 1981....

1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe
3. Australia lost the Ashes cricket tournament.
4. The pope died

Interesting Year 2005....

1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe
3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament
4. The pope died

Lesson to be learned:

Next time Charles gets married, someone warn the pope.

Drunk Ole Mulvihill staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional box, sits down, but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but Ole Mulvihill just sits there.

Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall. The drunk mumbles, 'ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either.'


Charlie was fixing a door and found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent his wife Mary to Home Depot. At Home Depot, Mary saw a beautiful bathroom faucet while she was waiting for Walt, the manager, to finish waiting on a customer.

When Walt was finished, Mary asked 'How much for that faucet?' Walt replied, 'That's pewter and it costs $300.' 'My goodness, that sure is a lot of money!' Mary exclaimed. Then she proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy, and Walt went to the back room to find it.

From the back room Walt yelled, 'Mary, you wanna screw for that hinge?' Mary replied, 'No, but I will for the faucet.' This is why you can't send a woman to Home Depot .

A six year old goes to the hospital with his grandma to visit his grandpa. When they get to the hospital, he runs ahead of his grandma and bursts into his grandpa's room.

Grandpa, Grandpa," he says excitedly, "as soon as Grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!" "What?" said his grandpa. "Make a noise like a frog because Grandma said that, as soon as you croak, we're going to Disney World!"

An elderly couple were attending church services. About halfway through she leans over and says, ' I just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?'He replies, 'Put a new battery in your hearing aid.'

And finally the iffy joke from last week:

A teenage boy asks his granny: Have you seen my pills, they were labeled LSD?

Granny: "F**k the pills, have you seen the dragons in the living room?

This will be the last Saturday Chuckles for awhile, and tomorrow will be the last appearance of L'il Bear for the same period. I'll explain it all then, but be assured that everything is fine with me. Hate to be a tease, but just need to get my thoughts in order.

Trucker Bob blogged at 3:11 AM

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Friday, November 23, 2007

Morning folks. Since I use the one-fingered-hunt-and-peck method I'm not the fastest typist around, but this morning it's even slower. Either someone moved the table, or my waist has expanded, because I can hardly reach the keyboard. Think we both know the answer.

What a wonderful meal, and get-together, we had yesterday. As a traveling man I've eaten dishes from all over North America at one time or another, but to have them all in one place was something special. The ladies did themselves proud.

The menu is far too long to list, but things like South Carolina cornbread, oyster stuffing, candied yams, and every type of salad imaginable, is just a start. A couple from Arkansas cooked the monster ham, and it literally fell off the bone. Same with the turkey.

The only disappointing part is that by the time I sampled a little bit of everything, I had no room for dessert. In fact I had to come back to the Bear for a big ol' nap. But not to worry, they said they'd put some away for me and I can try the different pies etc today.

I did behave at dinner, but when I got into the mashed potatoes I had to keep telling myself that gravy is not a beverage. Damn it was good.

Since aquiring my trusty steed I haven't been doing much walking, but I think today I'll leave it tied up and use shank's pony. Won't be able to walk everything off, but hopefully enough that I can breathe.

Hope your dinners went as well, as I'm sure they did. Be back tomorrow with some chuckles, and on Sunday I've got a special treat, thanks to Judles.

Have a good weekend.

Trucker Bob blogged at 2:03 AM

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Thursday, November 22, 2007

Morning folks, and to my 'Murkan friends, HAPPY THANKSGIVING. I know that you've all probably got a big dinner planned, so I just had the little lady fix up a snack to tide you over.

Myself I'll be tucking in at about 2 pm, and since this is a senior's park there won't be any children to become scared at the performance I'm going to put on. Being a bachelor my idea of cooking is to eat what you cooked, out of the pot you cooked it in, over the sink. So when I get to sit down at a table laden with food, well, let's just say it's not pretty to watch.

Seriously though, I am looking forward to dinner, and visiting with my neighbors. We've really got a nice little community here, and I'm beginning to see why people return year after year. Who knows, I might become one of them.

Hey I just realized that in just over a month we get to do it all over again at Xmas, then a chance to catch our breath before the big New Year's bash. Yep, I think I could get used to this. One question though about etiquette, would a doggie-bag be considered gauche, and if not, would a Hefty Trash Bag be pushing it? Hate to see good food go to waste.

Okay guys, bon appetit, and I'll see ya tomorrow.

Trucker Bob blogged at 2:15 AM

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Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Morning folks. As is usual with me, as quick as I am to anger, once I've blown off a bit of steam I'm just as quick to settle down. I took some of your advice and accepted an invitation to dinner last night with all involved with the little misadventure, and everything is fine now. No broken bones or black eyes, and I'm back to being my calm, cuddly self. NOT! 2 of the 3 involved can still kiss my butt, but the original fellow and I are going off on a "make-up" ride together. So there, that's over.

So now I have to find something else to get all exercised about before the warm fuzzies completely take me over. Ah, I'll find something, I always do. Besides, I have a reputation to uphold.

The weather here is finally starting to cool a bit, in fact I've got a little space heater running at the moment. It's far from being cold in here, but after all the heat even 60F seems cool.

Not much planned for today, and although this is admittedly not much of a post, I just wanted to let you know that once again all is well in Paradise.

Take care of yourselves while I go out and see what kind of trouble I can get into. Shouldn't take long. Wait, here we go, hey you, what was that look for? Ah, the Bear is back!

Trucker Bob blogged at 2:10 AM

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Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Morning folks. Oh the games people play, or, karma's a bi**h. The fellow that had invited me on Sunday's ill-fated ride came around yesterday to apologize for his "friends". Also told me that not long after I left on my own, the lead jerk broke down and they didn't get back until 9 pm. Looks good on ya!

There was actually 4 of us that started out, and although I was the oldest of all but one they decided to give the "new guy" a baptism by fire. And how did that work out for you guys? Now he wants him and I to go for a ride, with me in the lead. I told him that sounded good, and suggested a date....the 12th of NEVER!

His wife even stopped by later in the day to tell me how bad he feels about it all. Almost used Billy Ray Cyrus's line...here's a quarter, call someone who cares. Yep, karma's a bi**h.

Other than that bit of fun I spent a quiet day yesterday. Started off with coffee and donuts in the clubhouse, went downtown and did my shopping, had that little drama, and ended with a nice chat with Boop on the phone. All's well here in Paradise.

Going to give a fellow here a hand today to change an injector in his come-and-pick-me-up truck. Do me good to get a little grease under my fingernails, getting too wussy laying around. Of course this is a fellow that has snuck off to Parker a few times without me. Maybe I'll put it in upside down, because afterall, wait for it.....karma's a bi**h.

Can you tell I'm enjoying this? Anywhoo, have yourselves a good day, and thanks for stopping by.

Trucker Bob blogged at 2:52 AM

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Monday, November 19, 2007

Morning folks. Well, I survived the big ride yesterday, in spite of a not very enjoyable first hour. By the time we made our first stop I decided to break off on my own, because I was sick of following the lead guy over every big pile of rocks he could find, at speeds that were ridiculous. Not only was I concerned about cutting my tires up, but we were passing too many places I wanted to explore, sensibly. Also the fine gritty dust was really bothering my eyes.

So I spent the next couple of hours in an area called La Posa South, a BLM long-term campsite. Very interesting. There were $50 tents, and half-million dollar motorhomes. I had researched this type of camping on the computer before I came down and decided it was not for me, but after talking to people there yesterday, I'm not so sure anymore.

Although technically a "dry-camp", there is water, a dump site for holding tanks, garbage dumpsters, heck even a pay phone. Of course the price of $180 for 6 months is something else to consider. The "sites" themselves are extremely big compared to the way you're squeezed into these RV parks, with some folks out there even having little solar-powered lights on their "drive-ways".

Now before you start yelling at me, I didn't take any pictures, partly because I was a little pissed at the way things started off. I am going back out there to learn more, because although I'm staying where I am for this winter, it's something to think seriously about for next trip down. And yes, because I'll be in charge of entertainment next time out there, I'll definitely take pictures.

So although the day started off pretty "rocky" it ended up great. I have a ride planned for this week with the first fellow I went out with, and I'm looking forward to that. He drives along sensibly, and takes the time to point things out to me. No more mountain climbing, I just want to go 'splorin'.

Hope you're all well, and as always, thanks for listening.

Trucker Bob blogged at 2:09 AM

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Sunday, November 18, 2007

Morning folks. I hadn't really planned on posting today but L'il Bear insisted I show up, because with all the preparations I'm making for today's big ride, I think he's afraid I'm running away.

Two of the fellows here have invited me along on what will be my longest ride yet. We're leaving at 8 am, and plan to be back around 2 pm. I've always overpacked for a trip, but this is ridiculous, but thankfully the carrier has room for everything.

Spare gas, tool kit, tow rope, tire repair kit, air filter, water, power bars, and of course my camera. I've even got a mask to cover my mouth and nose for the dust, and since the top of my head is so sunburnt I might even wear a cap. Wuss!

Now I'm really like a kid with a new toy, because I'm looking forward to getting out there and running with the big dogs. Should be a hoot.

I'm sure all will go well, but wish me luck just in case. I don't know what to expect in the way of scenery, but hope to have some pictures to post tomorrow.

Later guys.

Trucker Bob blogged at 2:17 AM

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Saturday, November 17, 2007

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with men's balls.'

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.' My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said, 'No.'

I kept thinking, 'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me.' Then I said, 'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?' 'No,' he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, 'Danny, did you have an accident?'

This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. 'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!' While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any? A true story. We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: 'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too!

While on a flight from New York, the Stewardess was busy passing out peanuts and cokes to everyone. There were about sixteen flights lined up waiting to get clearance to take off. Then the other Stewardess got a message from the Pilot that the tower said the wind had changed 180 degrees and they were first in line to take off, and to have everyone buckle up. Without thinking she just announced 'Please buckle up, grab your drinks and hold your nuts, we're taking off!'. No one saw her for the rest of the flight to Houston, and all the other Stewardesses were laughing all the way and so were half of the passengers.

I couldn't find the iffy one, but I will, and put it up next week.

Trucker Bob blogged at 4:26 AM

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Friday, November 16, 2007

Morning folks. It will be 6 weeks tomorrow since I arrived here, and today I finally get to go to the 'city'. The fellow that offered me the ride to Parker is picking me up this morning, so I'm making my list and checking it twice.

First of course is renewing the license and registration for the next year on the Quad. It's in my name, but we just let the current ones run out. Also renew the insurance for a year, and buy a skid lid.

Next will be a new TV. It bothers me to have to throw this one out simply because I can't find anyone to fix the sound problem, but stuff happens. I've got a dish and receiver lined up, so I'll finally have some background noise in here instead of listening to myself griping about something or other.

Then if I have any money left I'll hit the grocery store to buy something to gnaw on while I'm cursing Wolf Blitzer for being such a twit.

On a funny note I get such a kick out of that Google ad at the top of the page. Each time I refer to Baby Bear as my "trusty steed" an ad pops up for horseback riding. I should start coming up with different terms to see what happens. I've mentioned before that I'd remove that thing but I'm afraid to mess with the template. I did get one off, but I don't want to push my luck.

With the US dollar still falling against most major currencies I'd like to know what Dumya has on our stone-cold leader to cause our dollar to lose just about all of it's gains in the last few days. 9 cents in 4 days. We keep hearing about the coming oil shortage, so with Canada sitting on literally oceans of it, along with natural gas, WTF is going on?

Well, I guess I'd better start getting ready. Think I'll stand all my T-shirts up, and the first one to fall over will be the one I wear today. Hey, it worked for years on the road.

Not sure about Sunday, but tomorrow I'll have another edition of Saturday Chuckles, thanks to Jim. There is one that I'm debating on whether to put up, but it's so damn funny I probably will.

Have a good weekend guys .

Trucker Bob blogged at 2:54 AM

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Thursday, November 15, 2007

Morning folks. Don't really have much to natter about this morning, just wanted to pop in and say Hi. Sort of a 'no news is good news' day, although I did receive an e-mail last night from a friend who certainly has received some good news. I won't be letting the cat out of the bag, but WOW, CONGRATULATIONS! Don't mean to be a tease, but was just busting to say something.

Things have settled into a comfortable rhythm here for me, and since getting Baby Bear, I've got my treasured independence back. Other than running down the Interstate I can go just about anywhere I want, when I want.

Still get up at a ridiculous hour, have my toast and coffee, putz on this thing for awhile until the paper is delivered, read it, then usually back for a nap.

On the second 'get up' I put things in order here, then it's time to go 'splorin'. It's just so cool that we can ride these things on the streets here, in fact there are times when there are more ATVs than cars. It's also a lot more personal, I've yet to meet one that didn't give a big wave and a smile.

The carrier on the back of my trusty steed is proving to be invaluable. As I make my stops I put my purchases into it, lock it, and on to the next place. I can get all my shopping done, and my sightseeing, without worrying about anything. I certainly haven't seen everything yet, but I'm working on it.

Oops, just noticed that for someone that didn't have anything to natter about I'm running on a bit. Guess it's just part of being comfortable here chatting with you, and I love it. Besides, no one wants to listen to a Sermon from the Mount.

Hope all is at least as well with you guys. As always thanks for stopping by, and I'll probably see you tomorrow.

Trucker Bob blogged at 2:42 AM

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Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Morning folks. I've always believed in giving credit where credit is due, and today's recipient is my dearly beloved ex, Betty Boop. Her and I chat on the phone a few times a week, and since getting my PO box she keeps asking if I got the note she sent just to make sure the mail came through before she sends bank statements etc. Yesterday I got her "note", and it just shows the kind of person she is.

First a little background. I'm a crossword addict, in fact have books of them here in the Bear. I've often remarked to her that the ones in the 2 Vancouver papers were my favorites, just in conversation. Now to the point of this....

Without saying a word to me, she cut all the crosswords out of both papers for the last 2 months, and that was what she sent as a "note". I brought the large, thick, envelope home not knowing what to expect, but when I opened it and saw the smiley face she had put in there, I realized once again, like so many other times, what a great lady she is. With all that she has gone through in the last little while she still took the time to do this, but it really doesn't surprise me. As I said, it's just the kind of person she is.

Although we've been divorced 19 years, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for her, and I think, hell I know, she feels the same way. The reason this thing works is because, as with the rest of the family, we allow each other to live our own lives. Not going to preach here, but it is so simple, if you love something, set it free.

So no tales of riding my trusty steed today, because Boop, this Bud's for you!!

We'll return to our regularly scheduled programming tomorrow.

Trucker Bob blogged at 2:45 AM

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Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Morning folks. I messed up last week when I said that we all gathered for coffee and donuts on the first Monday of the month. In fact it is every Monday, and yesterday even more people showed up, including a couple of neighbors from across the street. It's really a great way to meet everyone, and slowly I'm getting able to put a face on all the units in here.

The ride yesterday went very well. Not sure how far we went, it doesn't really matter, but we were out there about 3 hours. The only bummer is that I didn't take any pictures, but that will be rectified because I plan to ride that same trail again, maybe even today.

Besides our living in the same RV park, I also have a couple of other things in common with the fellow I rode along with. He's from Port Townsend WA, close to White Rock, and he also is a cancer survivor (prostate).

One thing that I was pleasantly surprised to see was that each time we would stop for a 5 minute break, it seemed that ATVs came out of nowhere to check on us, make sure we were okay. Such a good thing, also a way to meet other riders.

And finally, yes Baby Bear performed like a champion, not a lick of trouble. Got back home, wiped about 5 lbs of dust off it, and went downtown and had me a big ol' plate of biscuits and gravy at the truck stop. Got to keep my strength up for riding the range on my trusty steed.

So there you have it guys, another good day in (at) Paradise (RV park). Hope all is well in your world. Probably see you tomorrow.

Trucker Bob blogged at 3:13 AM

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Monday, November 12, 2007

Morning folks, hope your weekend went well. Things are getting back to normal here after another little tussle with Timmy, but not to fret though, I'm used to it.

I had started off on a ride Saturday morning when I felt the head pains start, and since I wasn't that far out yet I made it back home without a problem, tied my trusty steed up, and came inside and rode out the storm. It was no worse than usual, but because it saps my strength it takes a day or so to get back to so-called normal. I finally got a good meal into me yesterday, so the adventure continues.


Bring it on Dumya, I'm back in fighting trim, but I should warn you, I don't ride alone.


Oh, and I didn't just lay around while I was ailing, I put down some sod so Judles wouldn't tease me about living in a gravel pit. The noive!


Of course it is that same Judles, my bud, that made those two pictures for me, without my asking. With all the seriousness in the world, including my battles with Timmy, I can't tell you how much enjoyment I get from stuff like this. You're the best Jude, and I'm proud to have you as a friend.

One of the fellows here came over yesterday with his Quad asking if I wanted to go for a ride. I wasn't quite up to it then, but today I'm more than ready to learn some of the trails. I haven't been going out too far by myself for safety reasons, but I'm looking forward to eventually 3 or 4 of us heading out for a day's ride.

There is also a fellow here that has to go up to Parker this week, and has invited me along. Think I'll quit messing with this TV and buy a new one. Next will be getting a dish, but yet another fellow has offered to help with that.

So all in all, things are fine here. Hope your week goes well, and if I don't get snake-bit I'll see you tomorrow.

Trucker Bob blogged at 2:51 AM

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Saturday, November 10, 2007

THE HORTH WITHPERER

Bob calls his buddy Sam, the horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse. Sam asks "How will I recognize him?" That's easy, he's a midget with a speech impediment."

So, the midget shows up, and Sam asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse." A female horth." So he shows him a prized filly. "Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth"? Sam picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over. "Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth"? So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse's ears. "Nith earzth, can I see her mouf"?

The rancher is getting pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth. "Nice mouf, can I see her twat"? Totally mad at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the midget's head as far as he can up the horse's twat, pulls him out and slams him on the ground.The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing. "Perhapth I should rephrase that; can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit."

Arthritis

A drunken man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say Father, what causes arthritis?" The priest replies, "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath."

The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be damned," then returned to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" The drunk answered, "I don't have it Father, I was just reading here that the Pope does.

Stroke Victims

Three senior ladies named Patsy, Betty, and Thelma were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation, when a flasher approached from across the park.The flasher came up to the ladies, stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat.

Both Betty and Thelma had a stroke. But Patsy, being older and feebler, couldn't reach that far. Bless her heart.

Bug Spray

A salesman was traveling through the country side, selling insect repellent. He came to a farmhouse and tried his pitch on the farmer. "Sir, my bug spray is so good you will never be bitten again. I guarantee it."

The farmer was dubious. "Young man, I'll make you a proposition. I'll tie you out in my cornfield buck naked, covered with that bug spray. If there is no ta single bite on you come morning, I'll buy a whole case from you, and get everyone in the county to buy a case; we'll make you rich.”

The salesman was delighted. They went to the field and he stripped. The farmer sprayed him thoroughly with the bug spray and tied him to a stake. Back to the house went the farmer. The next morning, the farmer and his family trooped out to the cornfield. Sure enough, the salesman was there, hanging in his bonds, not a single bite on him. Yet he was a total wreck! Pale, ghastly, haggard and drawn, but not one bite on him.

The farmer was perplexed. "Son." he said,, Now you don't have a bite on you but you look like hell! What the devil happened?"

The salesman looked at him through bloodshot eyes and asked with a weak croaking voice "Doesn't that calf have a mother?"

Logic

Two farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to Community College and sign up for some classes."

Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets dean of admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic.

"Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?"The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?""Yeah.""Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard." “That's true, I do have a yard." "I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house.""Yes, I do have a house.""And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family.""Yes, I have a family." "I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you're likely a heterosexual."

"I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater."Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic.

"Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?" Jim says, "I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?""No."

"Then you're a queer."

Trucker Bob blogged at 2:54 AM

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Friday, November 09, 2007

Morning folks. I'm glad you're all far enough away from here not to have heard the language out of me yesterday. Twice I went out to shoot a DV, and both times either the camera buggered up, or more likely I did something to it that is causing it. I had no trouble shooting it, but it wouldn't stop. The second time, after my masterful fine-tuning, I had to take the batteries out. But don't give up, because I'm not, I'll figure out what the #$% is wrong, or stomp the damn thing.

All is not lost however, I did take a few stills. This first one is where I took my short flight. I broke over the top, gave it some throttle, and went off that little hump. Be assured, my Evel Knevelin' days are over. I simply wanted to know how fast I could go over something without making a 3-point landing, as in two ears and a nose.


These next ones I took at a rock vendor's display. This is just an extremely small sample of what he has for sale. So very pretty in person.


I forget what this is.


This is Australian peanut wood. The picture doesn't do it justice. Hey Peter, tell us about this please.


And this is petrified wood, again, so pretty.


I've got some more pictures from there, including a treat for Judles, that I'll put up another time. This particular place I had been to once before, but believe me it was a helluva walk, but now with Baby Bear it's just a couple of varoom, varoom, power shifts and I'm there. Love it!

I have so many more things to share with you, but again this is getting too long. If you guys are getting 5% of the enjoyment I'm getting from this it's more than worth it.

See you tomorrow with some more of the dreadful life I'm living down here. It's rough, but damnit I'm going to hang in for your sakes. Okay, get this guy outa here!

Oops, forgot, tomorrow is Saturday Chuckles, then on Sunday I'm going to give you a break. L'il Bear is all pouty because I'm spending all my time with Baby Bear. Maybe if he woke up once in a while. So, a few guffaws tomorrow, then back to natterin' on Monday. Have a great weekend!

Trucker Bob blogged at 2:11 AM

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Thursday, November 08, 2007

Morning folks. Okay, let's clean up what I had intended to post yesterday before Baby Bear showed up to distract me. This first picture is my work station as Official Can Crusher. Bill, the manager, sits in the chair with a couple of Hefty trash bags full and passes the cans one by one to me to crush in that thingy on the wall, and I drop them into the milk crate. Things go along well until I get him laughing and then he loses the rhythm so we have to take a break. It's tough, demanding work but I'm bearing up well.


These are the anode rods I mentioned for the hot water tank. The top one of course is a new one, and the ones below are what they look like after 2 months, at least according to the RV supply store. I flushed my tank well and it seemed clean, but I put a rod in anyway.


Just some shots from one of the vendors. Hold on thar, ya varmint!



Taking the meat to market.


And finally, although I now have Baby Bear to run for water if needed, that won't be necessary because my tank arrived yesterday. 50 gallons delivered to my door once a month for $21.50, and as a new customer the first fill is 100 gallons for the same price. You'd need a big stick to beat that.

This is getting a bit long so I'll just tell you that I had a great time riding Baby Bear yesterday. Each little jaunt I go a bit farther and get more comfortable on it. Actually had it airborne a few feet over some humps, but nothing serious.


Starting today I'll pack my camera with me when I go riding, and yes I so want to post some DVs. Take care guys, and thanks for stopping by.

Trucker Bob blogged at 2:51 AM

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Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Morning folks. After mentioning yesterday about my hot water tank I did go to the RV supply store and bought the anode rod that fits into the tank, along with a flushing tool to clean it out first. While there I took a picture of what the rod looks like after 2 months in this water. Hard to believe.

I also took pictures of some other things I think you'll find interesting at a vendors, and thought I had my post for today. But then something happened that proves that if you just hang in with your convictions, be patient, that good things will happen.

I came back home, changed into my comfys, and was preparing to flush the tank when I heard an ATV pull up. It was the fellow that loaned me the remote, and what he had done is go and get this unit that he knew was for sale, and bring it to me to check out.

I checked it over, came in and got dressed, and 2 hours later this 2002 Honda Recon ES was bought and paid for, sale notarized, registered, licensed and insured, and heading down the wash with me hollerin' YeeHaw!!




Now tell me how stupid I was not to bring my car down to bake in the sun. And it gets even better. On my way home after running up to the truck stop I met the fellow that installed my phone. Since he's around this area a lot we've become friends, and after stopping to say Hi to him and him looking the quad over, he asked that I give him first crack at it if I don't take it North in April. At the price I paid for it! Plus our dollar hit $1.09 today. Call it luck, timing, whatever, I call it sticking to your convictions.

I can't tell you how happy I am with the way this all turned out. I want that sun to hurry up and rise, because I'm going riding! Damn I feel good about this. As for the pictures I was going to post I'll put them up tomorrow. And also as for going North in April I may have some big news about that soon. May hell, I've got some news but I'll leave it for another time. I will say this much though, it's a continuance of how well things are going for me right now, and I'm so glad to be able to share.

Hey, I've got headlights and tail-light, to heck with waiting for the sun, I'm saddlin' up. Thanks for listening, and I'll see ya tomorrow.

Trucker Bob blogged at 3:31 AM

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Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Morning folks. Sorry, no pics today, in fact I didn't even go for a walk yesterday. I'd forgotten about it being the first Monday of the month, which means coffee and donuts at the clubhouse. What a great way to meet the other tenants here. Not every person showed up, but enough did that we sat around and chatted for a couple of hours.

One of the fellows had an extra remote control he loaned me, and Houston, we have lift off! Turned my TV on without even having to re-program it. So now I have to investigate something I've heard, that being the satellite companies here won't sell a dish to a Canadian. I've heard different stories so I'll check it out, and if push comes to shove I think I can get hooked up through my phone/internet provider.

I also learned of a product at our get-together that will ease my mind. Because the water here is so harsh I've been concerned what it might do to my hot water tank. So today I'll go to the RV supply store and buy this plug you screw into the drain, similar to a magnetic drain plug in a transmission or differential, that will remove all that crud before it eats a hole in the aluminum. The rest of the plumbing in here is plastic, so no worries there. Just another benefit from not being afraid to ask questions.

Received a nice e-mail from my bud Bill the Barber telling me of his catching 15 salmon on his last fishing trip, which knowing him I believe. He sure knows how to rub it in. Well, so do I. Since he wouldn't come up to the Yukon to cut my hair, or come down here, I've found another. There is a retired barber here in the park that gave me my first good haircut in years. KIDDING! Actually it was a good haircut, made even better because it was free. He wouldn't accept payment, but since he is a member of a church here in town, I made a contribution to his church. So you enjoy your salmon Bill, because I'm enjoying all the attention I'm getting from the ladies in my sartorial splendor. Oh give me a break!

Okay guys, have a good 'un, see ya tomorrow.

Trucker Bob blogged at 4:08 AM

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Monday, November 05, 2007

Morning folks. It's said that confession is good for the soul, which I believe, so I'm about to clean mine up a bit. It's about my setting the clocks in the wrong direction on Saturday night.

I was sitting here reading, well aware that it is 'spring forward, fall back', when an old sea-faring buddy stopped in. Captain Morgan. By the time he left I was lucky that I even found a clock.

What happened was that I had got a ride to the store that day, and in this particular store it seems that half the shelves are full of booze, wine and beer. Each time I go in I pay no attention to it, but Saturday I decided what the hey, I haven't had a drink in the month I've been here, so I grabbed one of those big ol' bottles with a handle on it. Bad move! Even picked up another 24-pack of Coke.

Got back home, invited the fellow in for a little drink, had a nice chat, he left, and I thought that if the Lord hates a coward, he's going to be proud of me tonight. I had also picked up a pizza on the way back, so I proceeded to have myself a nice evening. Since I very seldom drink anymore it didn't take many until I was ready for beddy-byes, and should have left the clocks alone, because when I got up after my usual 4 hours of sleep I couldn't figure out what was going on.

So there, I'm once again chaste. (You wish!) Not much planned for today, I'm pretty well stocked up so as soon as the sun rises I'm going to walk up to the truck stop, chat with the drivers a bit, hit a few vendors on the way back, and just have a relaxing day around here. Might sound boring to some but I'm enjoying every minute.

Hope your week goes well, and I'll see if I can find something interesting on my walk to take pictures of and post them tomorrow.

Oops, just read Upriver Dave's comment. Well, at least this time I can find the clocks to re-set them. Not that I didn't believe you Dave, but I Googled DST and learned that only the Navajo Nation in Arizona observe it. Now the question is do I change the clock on the computer, or just leave it alone? Well, I'll be darned, by right-clicking the time I was able to set it to Arizona time. Much more of this nonsense and I'm going to have to invite the Captain down out of the cupboard.

Trucker Bob blogged at 3:09 AM

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Sunday, November 04, 2007

Morning folks. Since my little buddy up there is in his usual catatonic state I thought I'd use his time to let you know that my router is now functioning. While I did get rid of the ethernet cable, due to the massive amount of award-winning journalism coursing through the unit, and the local ambient temperature, I had to jerry-rig a cooling system for it. It's working well, but if my typing speed gets above 8 words a minute it does tend to protest. With a few adjustments I'll be ready to go to market soon, in fact I'll be starting the patenting process this week.

If marketed the unit will be known as the Trucker Bob1-A, TB-1A, or for my prospective Canadian clients, the Trucker Bob1-eh? With the CDN looney soaring so high above the US eagle the expected initial pricing will be $6,000 US, or $1.12 CDN.

With the serious (?) stuff out of the way, I've got to tell you of how well things are going for me, and also how much I appreciate this venue to be able to tell you so. A lot of you guys have hung in with me since the dark days, and with that support I've come a long way. I think I could have made it on my own, but I know that you've all made it easier.

Each day I look forward to getting my post up, and then as the comments come in, being able to kibbitz with you. If only you knew how important each and every one of you are to me, comments or no. You know I like to tease, but I hope you also know that I would never intentionally offend. Okay, this is getting a little maudlin. Cowboy up Dude!

Hope your week goes well, and in the words of Telly Savalas (Kojack), who loves ya baby?

P.S. The brain farts continue, I set all my clocks, and watch, AHEAD last night. Might have to start leaving a trail of bread crumbs when I go out, just so I can find my way home.

Trucker Bob blogged at 2:40 AM

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Saturday, November 03, 2007

Q: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A: Anyone can roast beef.

Q: How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A: Both of them.

Q: Why are blonde jokes so short?
A: So men can remember them.

Q: Why are blondes so easy to get into bed?
A: Who cares?

Q: Why are married women heavier than single women?
A: Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

Q: What do eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
A: Polaroids

Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A: So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

Q: What is the definition of wicker box?
A: It's what Elmer Fudd wants to do to Britney Spears.

Q: Why don't cowboys make good lovers?
A: Because they think a good ride is eight seconds.

Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers once every month?
A: Because it says on the box, "Good for up to 20 pounds."

Q. Why is it good for young boys to read Playboy and Penthouse?
A. It improves hand-eye coordination.

Q: What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
A: Shoot him again.

Hey, I hear the groans out there, whaddya want, they're free.

Trucker Bob blogged at 2:32 AM

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Friday, November 02, 2007

Morning folks. Well, I found the problem with the router, but since things aren't really broken I'm not going to fix them. All I would gain by returning the router to factory default, and re-programming it would be getting rid of one cable. Not worth it. The high-speed DSL I have here through the modem is super good, so why mess with it.

What seems to have happened is Sparky used a password that I don't have when he set it up. I guess I'm partly to blame for not getting it, but he was such a space cadet in some ways that I'm surprised I got half of what I did. He was able to type HTML code at such a speed that he would completely lose me. He'd lose himself sometimes too, it's taken me months to straighten up the mess he left the last time. Anyway, no biggie, all is well.

Anyway, with that little problem solved I've now got to tell you of another, that being that sometimes I think I'm too stupid to live. Here's the embarrassing tale......

Each morning I head off on my walk with my 1 gallon water jug, and as usual, yesterday I hit a few vendors, stopped at the store, picked up a couple of things, filled my jug (30 cents/gal), and merrily made my way home. Got home, put my things away, got into my comfys, and was sitting outside when I started thinking that the 35-40 gallons of water I had in the tank here in the Bear might get stagnant sitting in the heat for 5-6 months. No problemo, got my pail, opened the drain valve, filled it, dumped it around my orange tree, repeated the process, and was sitting watching the 3rd pail fill when it hit me.

I've been packing water home in the heat, including one day carrying a 5-gallon jug AND a 24-pack of Coke, when all along I've had good water that I brought down with me sitting right here. I'm not sure that I should be allowed out on my own. I just can't believe that it took that long for the light to go on. Oh well, with my tank coming in about a week I guess my water packing days are over.

So with the 5-gallon jug full in the shed, a gallon sitting on the counter, 21 bottles in the cupboard, 6 bottles in the fridge, and about 30 gallons in the tank, I think the drought is over. I'm still shaking my head over this, but I guess it's just one more of life's embarrassing moments.

Well, I think I'll have me a nice big glass of COLD CANADIAN WATER! With that I'll bid you all a good weekend, and if you want to stop by it will be the usual here. Take care.

Trucker Bob blogged at 3:03 AM

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Thursday, November 01, 2007

Morning folks. Hope you all survived celebrating your Hallowed Weinies, because I need some help from this learned body of blogophiles. Oh give us a break, what do you want?

Yesterday I decided to try hooking up my wireless router, and surprisingly managed to get it right, but can't open a page. The little icon on the right side of my browser bar shows that I'm connected to my secure network, with excellent signal strength etc. When I right-click on the icon it opens the box of available networks, and again shows that I'm connected. But when I click Start, Internet, I get the page not available hooey. I've tried refreshing, shutting down and re-booting, advanced settings, you name it, can't open a page.

I called a computer guy here in town and from the questions he asked me I'm hesitant to pay what he wants for a service call. I think I'm just one mouse click away but where, and what?

So put your thinking caps on guys, Dave?, and either walk me through the process, or give me some suggestions. Keep in mind it says I'm connected. If it helps at all my router is a D-Link, Model DI-524. When I bought it I had Sparky the Wonder-Lad program it, and it always worked fine. I know it's hooked up right because it's showing my network, but I just need that mouse-click.

If the fellow I called had of inspired any confidence in me I'd bite the bullet and pay the exorbitant price, but when he started talking about it depending on what he finds, when he was asking questions that made me wonder if he even knew what a router was, I decided to come begging hat in hand. Besides I don't want to blow all the Xmas earring money on this goombah.

If we can't figure it out I might just leave well enough alone. I'm hooked direct to the modem now, and have got the wires etc pretty well tucked away, so all I'd gain is not having the ethernet cable laying across the table. But I thought it worth asking.

Also tell me if it's wise to put my e-mail addy on here, I don't see any harm, but then I can be naive about these things. Just thought it would be easier to pass anything along. As for the mail I've got the usual spam guards etc, and I don't open any that I don't recognize.

Thanks guys, I'll be sitting here with bated breath. Okay, let's not overdo it.

Trucker Bob blogged at 3:02 AM

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