Saturday, February 24, 2007
A Mexican is walking down the streets of Mexico City, kicking a bottle in his way. Suddenly out of the bottle pops a Genie. The Genie says, "Hello master, I will grant you one wish; anything you want".
The Mexican begins thinking and says to himself; well, I really like drinking tequila and love to be able to drink tequila whenever I want. So: "Make me PEE tequila" he says. The Genie grants him his wish.
When the Mexican gets home, he gets a glass out and pees in it. He looks at the glass and it's clear and looks like tequila. Then he smells the liquid, smells like tequila too! So he takes a sip and sure enough it is the best tequila he has ever tasted.
The Mexican yells to his wife, "Consuela, Consuela, come quickly!" She comes a running, and the Mexican takes another glass out and PEES in it. He tells her to drink it. "It's OK" he says, explaining his encounter with a Genie, who made him PEE Tequila"!!
Consuela is reluctant but goes ahead and takes a sip, and says: "Yee-Haa my Husband, it's a miracle, this is the best tequila that I've ever Tasted !!" The two drank themself stupid all night.
The next night the Mexican comes home from work and tells his wife: "Get ONE glass from the cupboard and we will drink Tequila." His wife gets the glass and sets it on the table. The Mexican begins to fill the glass and while downing it, his wife asks him: "Pancho, why only one glass? Nothing for me?
Pancho raises the glass high in the air and says, "Because tonight, Mi Amour, you drink from the BOTTLE !!!" "Arreeeeeba"
AN OLD FARMER WENT TO TOWN TO SEE A MOVIE. THE TICKET AGENT ASKED, "SIR, WHAT'S THAT ON YOUR SHOULDER?" THE OLD FARMER SAID, "Oh, THAT'S MY PET ROOSTER, CHUCKY. WHEREVER I GO, CHUCKY GOES." "I AM SORRY SIR," SAID THE TICKET AGENT. "WE CAN'T ALLOW ANIMALS IN THE THEATER."
THE OLD FARMER WENT AROUND THE CORNER AND STUFFED THE BIRD DOWN HIS OVERALLS. HE RETURNED TO THE BOOTH, BOUGHT A TICKET AND ENTERED THE THEATER. HE SAT DOWN NEXT TO TWO OLD WIDOWS NAMED MILDRED AND MARGE.
THE MOVIE STARTED AND THE ROOSTER BEGAN TO SQUIRM. THE OLD FARMER UNBUTTONED HIS FLY SO CHUCKY COULD STICK HIS HEAD OUT AND WATCH THE MOVIE.
"MARGE," WHISPERED MILDRED. "WHAT?" SAID MARGE. "I THINK THE GUY NEXT TO ME IS A PERVERT." "WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SO?" ASKED MARGE. "HE UNDID HIS PANTS AND HE HAS HIS THING OUT," WHISPERED MILDRED.
"WELL, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT," SAID MARGE. "HELL, AT OUR AGE WE'VE SEEN 'EM ALL" "I THOUGHT SO TOO," SAID MILDRED, "BUT THIS ONE'S EATIN' MY POPCORN!"
Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, and heads back to the showers
He is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way. Having no place to hide, he stands against the wall and freezes like he's a statue.
The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks. The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls on his manhood. Startled, he drops a bar of soap. "Oh look" says the first nun, "it's a soap dispenser". To test her theory the second nun also pulls on his manhood. Sure enough, he drops the second bar of soap.
Now the third nun decides to have a go. She pulls once, then twice and three times but nothing happens. So she gives several more tugs, then yells. "Holy Mary, Mother of God, hand lotion too!"
Thanks to Jim and Jude
Trucker Bob blogged at 4:24 AM