Saturday, March 03, 2007
A drunken cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo Theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the cowboy, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."
The cowboy groaned but didn't budge. The usher became more impatient: "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."
Once again, the cowboy just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success. Finally they summoned the police. The Texas Ranger surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy what's your name?"
"Fred," the cowboy moaned. "Where ya from, Fred?" asked the Ranger.With terrible pain in his voice, and without moving a muscle, Fred replied, . . . "the balcony."
Ole is a farmer in Wisconsin who needs a new milk cow. He hears about a nice one for sale over in Saskatchewan, so he drives up there, looks at the cow, and reaches under to see if she gives milk. When he grabs the teat and pulls, the cow farts. Ole is very surprised, so he looks at the farmer who's selling the cow, then reaches under the cow to try again.
He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again. But milk comes out so, after some discussion, Ole decides to buy the cow and takes it home.
He calls his neighbour, Sven over and says, "Hey Sven, come and look at dis here new cow I yust bought. "Pull her teat and see vat happens."
Sven reaches under, pulls the teat, and the cow farts. Sven looks at Ole and says, "I bet you bought dis cow in Saskatchewan, yah?" Ole is very surprised and says, "Yah, dat's right. But how did you know?"
Sven says, "My wife is from Saskatchewan".
An accountant, a lawyer and a cowboy were standing side-by-side using the urinal.The accountant finished, zipped up and started washing and literally scrubbing his hands...clear up to his elbows....he used about 20 paper towels before he finished.
He turned to the other two men and commented, "I graduated from the University of Michigan and they taught us to be clean." The lawyer finished, zipped up and quickly wet the tips of his fingers, grabbed one paper towel and commented, I graduated from the University of California and they taught us to be environmentally conscious."
The cowboy zipped up and as he was walking out the door said," I graduated from the University of Saskatchewan and they taught us not to piss on our hands."
Thanks to my usual co-conspirators, Jude, Jim, and Trace.
Trucker Bob blogged at 3:28 AM