Saturday, March 10, 2007
Football FINALLY makes sense.
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?""Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, they all kept screaming "Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback! I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents".
How To Save A Marriage
A lady who had been married for several years was growing more and more frustrated at her husband's lack of interest in sex. She wondered about ways to add some pizzazz to their sexual relationship, and finally decided to purchase some crotchless underwear she had seen in a lingerie shop.
One evening when she was feeling particularly desirous, and he was, as usual, watching television, she took a shower, freshened up, and donned the crotchless undies and a slinky negligee. She then strolled between her husband and the television and suggestively tossed one leg up on his chair arm."Want some of this?" she purred. "Are you kidding?" he replied."Look what it did to your underwear!"
Two Arab terrorists are in a locker room taking a shower after their bomb making class in Toronto, when one notices the other has a huge cork stuck in his ass. If you do not mind me saying," stated the second, "that cork looks very uncomfortable. Why don't you take it out?"
I regret I cannot", lamented the first Arab. "It is permanently stuck in my ass." "I do not understand," said the other. The first Arab says, "I was walking along Bloor Street and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge old man in Canadian Flag attire with a white beard and cowboy hat came boiling out. He said, "I am Captain Canada, the Genie. I can grant you one wish."I said, "No shit!"
The Awful Truth
Thanks to the usual miscreants.
Trucker Bob blogged at 4:25 AM